


Mistakes

by Shraider



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, Heavy Angst, Psychological Torture, Torture, Violence, not super shippy in the beginning but we'll get there, seriously heavy angst, wump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shraider/pseuds/Shraider
Summary: What if Vox Machina arrived in Ank'Harel only a day after Ripley killed Mistress Asharru? Which means that she's still very much in the city when they get there.--Rounding the corner himself to witness the scuffle, the gunslinger uncharacteristically froze. In the time it took him to shake the feeling and whip Retort up, Vex…strong, capable Vex, had the barrel of a pistol digging into her throat and her arm pinned behind her by a clawed steel hand.  Tags will probably change as we progress





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's not like Percy get's hurt enough as it is right?  
> I'm an awful person I know  
> I just really like angst

Walking down the worn and sand dusted cobbled street, Percy was only half paying attention to his surroundings. Instead, his mind was racing. With mistress Asharru only being dead a day, it meant that Ripley was probably still in the city. But that also meant that it would be harder to prove Vox Machina’s innocence when it came to Asharru's death, which was also something he had to consider. If they were lucky, perhaps they could convince the rest of the Scarbearers to help them in their search…but they were so rarely that lucky. 

He was still vaguely aware of Vex’s presence at his side. This had been her idea anyway; a stroll around the Suncut Bazar to try and clear his head. He’d been both uneasy and sullen since their discovery of the dead Mistress which was quite obvious to everyone. Sensing Vex’s sudden halt in movement, he refocused his attention as she spoke. “Percy, darling…” 

“Hmm?” Was the only response he could muster, still partially in thought. 

“You know this isn’t your fault right?” 

That brought him completely out of his calculating, throwing his thoughts instead into a different kind of brooding.  
Vex’s frown deepened when she saw the darkness fall over the gunman’s expression.

Not able to meet her eye, Percy turned his gaze away. She was wrong. This was his fault. So driven by anger and vengeance he was, he had allowed Ripley to escape. He had been so sure of himself and his hatred that he couldn’t clearly see the threat that that woman posed….no…that was also a lie. He had known. He’d known all along how dangerous a foe she was and he hadn’t cared at the time. 

The Briarwoods were evil, dark creatures with a goal rather simple. Their type of evil was straightforward, something that Vox Machina dealt with on daily basis. Ripley on the other hand….she was dangerously intelligent. And as much as it sickened him to admit it, they had more in common than he’d ever admit. That woman had a mind nearly as sharp as his, and a wit to make up for it that terrified him. She terrified him.

What’s worse is that he knew back then that allowing her to escape, that toying with his power over her like it was a twisted game instead of just ending her wasn’t the right choice. Had he been level headed, had he only just stopped to think for a bloody moment then they wouldn’t be dealing with this mess. He should have been smarter…he should have just been… ‘better’….

“Percy…” Vex’s voice and the gentle hand on his arm once again brought his out of his thoughts. 

Realizing he hadn’t yet responded to her question, he opened his mouth for a moment to speak but quickly snapped it shut. She would only see through him if he lied to her now. And it wasn’t like she didn’t already ‘know’ how he felt on the matter. Still unable to meet her eye, he spoke. “I know what you want me to say, Vex…but you and I both know that that would be a lie.” 

“Percy, you couldn’t have known-“

“Couldn’t I have?” He cut in, expression pained as he finally met her gaze. “I knew all along what Ripley was. She’s not only very smart, but she’s genuinely one of the worst people I’ve ever met and I made the wrong decision. I made a terrible decision in letting her go, I know that.” 

Irritation was beginning to creep into Vex but she tried to keep it from her voice. She’d always hated his self-deprecation, but on a deeper level understood where he was coming from. What she saw in him, what she loved in him, was probably matched as strongly as his hatred for himself. “Darling…” She spoke firmly, squeezing his arm slightly. “She got away. And even if you believe you should have done differently, we all make mistakes.” Halting any rebuttal he began to form with a firm look, she continued. “We will find her, and we will deal with her. Like we have always done.”

Knowing that this argument wasn’t going any further, Percy opted to stay silent, instead just nodding a slight agreement. At least she was right in that aspect. He may not trust in himself, but he trusted in Vox Machina and their strength. And as much as he loathed putting another one of his demons in their path, he knew that they would all have it no other way and it was both a massive source of guilt as well as a great comfort to him. 

He felt her hand leave his arm as she huffed a breath. “Well, I was hoping a little fresh air and reprieve from everyone would help…”

The gunman let out a harsh laugh. “It’s not them, but rather myself that I need a reprieve from.” 

Vex frowned again, but didn’t argue. “Well, do you want to get a drink then? That’s the only way I know how to escape from myself.” 

Percy met her eye again, his brow furrowed slightly. It probably wasn’t a ‘good’ idea. But what the hell, he rarely rolled with good ideas. “Yes, that sounds lovely right about now.” There was still something bitter in his voice, but he allowed Vex to lead on. 

Cutting through the Suncut Bazar, Percy once again fell deep into thought. A mix of possible solutions to their Ripley problem as well as berating himself for every mistake that led them to the problem in question. 

In his pondering, he barely noticed when Vex got a little ahead of him. It was probably just a mix of the crowd of people in the still very bustling market despite the darkening of the sky, and trying to give him some space. Even he didn’t want to be around him at the moment; it was hard for him to imagine that anyone else would want to keep his company.

Exiting the Bazar and entering the quieter lanes on the way back to the Debt’s Respite, the possibility of danger never even entered his mind. Suddenly, he heard a yelp and the sound of a commotion about 30 feet ahead and out of sight. He caught a snippet of Vex’s words even as he sprinted full tilt towards where she’d rounded the corner. “-ou’re hands off me you, bitch!”  
Rounding the corner himself to witness the scuffle, the gunslinger uncharacteristically froze. In the time it took him to shake the feeling and whip Retort up, Vex…strong, capable Vex, had the barrel of a pistol digging into her throat and her arm pinned behind her by a clawed steel hand. 

The surprise on everyone’s faces was clear, which meant that this hadn’t been some sort of ambush…but the sheer unfortunate coincidence didn’t escape Percy’s mind. 

“Percival.” There was both surprise and disdain in the voice that spoke. “It would be you wouldn’t it.” 

“Anna..” he spoke, managing against all odds to keep his voice even. His eyes darted fearfully between the woman and Vex, whose dark eyes were wide and trained on him. “Let her go.”  
It was only then that the gunman realized that the woman wasn’t alone but rather flanked by two others. One was an older gentleman, wearing robes with the hood drawn up and seemingly unarmed. The other was nothing more than a thug, but very visibly armed.

“And give away the only leverage I have against you? I don’t think so.” She laughed, eyes narrowed dangerously. “In fact, I couldn’t have planned this any better.” 

“I could kill you right here and now.” The gunman threatened, bringing his second hand to his gun, steadying it in case the nerves got to him. “I’m a very good shot.” 

“Oh, I have no doubt of that, Percival.” Ripley responded, “But the moment your finger moves, so does mine.” The steadiness of Percy’s gun wavered at that, which didn’t go unnoticed. “How important is Vex’ahlia’s life to you? You wouldn’t want to be the cause of another family member’s death, would you?” 

“Perc-“ Vex managed to squeeze out but was silenced by the gun being dug up painfully under her chin. 

Wetting his lips, Percy lowered his weapon but only a fraction. Fear was trying to crawl its way into his head which he easily crushed. Nothing was worth Vex’s life. “So what then? What do you want?” 

“You turn, you leave and I take dear Vex with me as an assurance that you and your motley crew won’t come after me. Only when…or ‘if’ I feel like you’re not a threat, do I let her go.” There was a finality to her voice that made it clear there was no other option available. 

“You’re not going anywhere with her.” There was a waver to his words then that wasn’t fear, but rather anger. Just the thought of that woman touching Vex caused a spark of burning rage within him that he hadn’t felt since the Briarwoods. 

“Then you shoot me, and I shoot her.” Ripley shrugged, expression smug. She knew damned well that that wasn’t an option for the young man. 

Jaw tightening, Percy lowered his gun considerably. “Counter offer.” His voice was as hard and as steady as hers. There was a surety in it that caught Ripley off guard.

“Oh please-“

“My life, for hers.” Surprise passed across Ripley’s face as a tiny intrigued smile grew on her lips. “I go with you ‘willingly’ without a fight. You leave Vex here ‘safe’ and unharmed. You still get your hostage and I’m no longer a threat to you.” 

“Percy, no-!” Vex’s cry of disagreement was once again cut short by the barrel of Ripley’s gun. 

There was silence for a moment as the two regarded each other in a sort of twisted Mexican stand-off. “Agreed.” Ripley narrowed her eyes. “Now lower your gun.” 

“It is lowered, now let her go.” Percy countered with venom. 

“I’m not stupid, Percival. If I let her go now, she’ll go running back to the rest of your little friends to come after me. I’m going to need a little assurance.” Ripley nodded to the thug beside her, speaking quietly to him. 

Despite the painful press of the barrel of the gun, Vex began to plead with her friend. “Percy, please, don’t give yourself up for me, please. Percy it’s not worth it.… not after everything she’s put you through.” 

Meeting her eyes, the gunslinger smiled, his expression sad. “You’re worth more than you could ever know, Vex.” He was going to go on to say that she was worth more than him, but decided she wouldn’t appreciate that. “It’ll be alright.” 

“How touching.” Ripley rolled her eyes before slamming the gun into the back of Vex’s head, causing the ranger to fall to the ground in a daze. Percy jolted forward a step with a startled cry, but stopped when Ripley’s gun moved towards Vex’s head again. “She’ll be fine, it’s just a little assurance.” Ripley eyed the young man across from her as the thug finally produced some rope and began quickly binding Vex’s hands and ankles. 

Raising her eyes to Percy once more, Ripley smiled at him smugly. “Now, Percival. My gun please.” She lifted her hand out expectantly. 

Swallowing the pit of fear that suddenly jumped into his throat at the reality of the situation, it took a moment for the gunman to respond. It was only when his eyes darted down to Vex on the ground did his shoulders drop in submission. Squaring his jaw, he turned retort around, handing the butt of the weapon to her. At least the fact that he’d left bad news and his sketch book back at the inn was a blessing. The thought of Anna getting her hands on his design made him ill. Accepting it with a widening grin, she motioned to the thug once again with her head. “Search him.” 

As the man approached, Percy didn’t resist as his sword was drawn from its sheath and a further pat down ensued. The only other weapon he kept on his person was the dagger in his boot which was quickly discovered and removed. “Happy?” He spoke bitterly, meeting Ripley’s gaze. 

“Very.” The woman responded, turning his attention to the bound woman who was groaning on the ground. Kneeling beside her, she patted Vex on the cheek, well aware of the hiss that escaped from Percy. “I extend the same offer to you, Vex’ahlia. I assume you are a smart woman, so perhaps you’ll heed my warning. I will go about my business as usual, with no interference from you or any of your friends. If and when I’m far enough away from you all that I feel safe, I will let him go. If I get even an inkling that you pose a threat to me, I can’t guarantee Percival’s safety, do you understand?” 

Angry tears began to well in Vex’s eyes as the fogginess from the blow faded. “You bitch, don’t you dare hurt him.” She hated herself for allowing this to happen. If only she’d reacted faster to Ripley grabbing her…if only she hadn’t suggested they leave the safety of the inn and the rest of the group.  
The thought of Percy subjecting himself to this woman again for her sake made her sick. 

“Well, that will depend entirely on you, my dear.” Ripley replaced, patting Vex on the cheek once more before standing and turning to Percy. “Well, shall we?” She motioned for him to lead the way down the alley.  
The only way Percy could describe the smile that spread across her face then was sinister. 

Taking a long breath to steady his nerves, he stepped forward to first kneel beside Vex. Brow creased, and a sad smile on his face, he brushed one of the tears from her cheek before beginning to mouth words.  
'Please don’t blame yourself for this, I’m doing it because you are so important, Vex’ahlia. To me… and to them. They need you now, more than they need me. I do intend to try and slip away but if that’s beyond me, save me if you can. If you cannot its ok. Farewell Vex.' 

To Ripley the entire interaction was silence, but Vex understood ever word that she read on his lips. Tears spilled to streak across her face and her heart ached as Percy stood to join the waiting Ripley. 

“Percy!” She yelled to him, but he didn’t stop. “Stop!” She tried again as she began struggling against the binds. There was a shrill panic to her voice, as she tried one last time. “Percy!!” And then they were gone, rounding the corner out of sight. Her last view of the white haired gunman was of his back, the claws of Ripley’s steel hand dug into the fabric of the blue jacket.  
\--------  
After more than a few hours of walking Percy couldn’t help but be surprised when they finally arrived at the awaiting ship. For some reason it hadn’t crossed his mind that Ripley would have a vessel ready and waiting. Then again, she must have gotten to Ank’Harel somehow so he supposed it made sense. 

Dread then built in him as he realized that being on a ship meant they were probably leaving the city, which meant the possibility of rescue was becoming more of a dream than a reality. The entire journey through the city of Ank’Harel was spent with Ripley’s steel claws digging into his arm. Probably as some precaution that he wouldn’t make a break for it…which he would have absolutely tried to do. 

Stepping onto the ship, the pit of dread in his stomach became heavier as a new group of thugs swarmed towards them. Most were human, as best he could tell, with the exception of the Goliath woman and one smaller individual who he only caught a glimpse of from the back.

“Take him to the brig and make sure he stays there. Take measures.” Shoving him forward as she spoke, Percy caught his balance rather quickly, just barely managing to keep his expression even and his nerves calm. This was literally his worst nightmare, but he wouldn’t give that woman the satisfaction of seeing him afraid. 

He didn’t say a word as her thugs dragged him by the arms away from her and into the belly of the ship, meeting her gaze he let the fire in his eyes speak it all. 

It was a rather large vessel, nice by most standards. While it wasn’t ordained or fancy in any way, it was study and well built. If Percy could appreciate anything it was fine construction. It was just a pity that he’d be appreciating the fine construction of the brig, which he was promptly brought to. 

Being shoved rather forcefully inside the waiting cell, one of the two thugs that had escorted him entered as well. “Don’t know what ya did to the boss to warrant this but I’m sorry mate.” The man spoke, his accent rough. “I’m gonna need your jacket, your armour, your belt and your boots.” 

Despite Percy’s rather impressive height, he still felt rather small next to this man…Kind of like he did standing next to Grog. The sailor was probably a few inches shorter than him, but he made up for it by the width of his shoulders and size of his arms. He could probably snap the thin gunman in half just by flexing. 

Gritting his teeth and setting his jaw, Percy let out a long even breath. Weighing his options and trying to figure out if there was any way around this. “Look, I’m sure that Ripley pays you a lot but I can assu-“ 

The sailor cut him off. “Look, mate, I won’t ask you again. I thought I’d be nice and let you do it yerself. Y’know keep some of yer dignity.”

Sighing, Percy shut his eyes for a moment before slipping the comfortable and familiar weight of the jacket from his shoulders and handing it over. He spent the next few minutes unbuckling his gun belt and unlacing his bracers and his boots before begrudgingly giving those up as well. 

Suddenly feeling both naked and very vulnerable without his gear, it took everything he had to keep from hyperventilating. The fear and anxiety was growing in him with each passing second, only to sideline him even harder when his wrists were firmly clasped in shackles. 

As the sailor stepped away and swung shut the cell door, Percy fell on the bars, full blown panic suddenly coursing through him. Memories and snippets from moments he’d repressed flashed through his mind ; the sounds of both his family and trusted friends screaming and dying around him…the sight of stone walls closing in on him…the overwhelming and cloying smell of blood that he couldn’t escape and the sick realization that it was his own. Pain…  
“Please, please, I’m begging you. I could offer you so much more than she can, please!”  
His desperate pleading fell on deaf ears it seemed as both men disappeared, leaving him alone in the dimly light cell. 

Pulling himself together as best he could, Percy shut his eyes, focusing first on his breath and then calming his racing thoughts. Dragging in a deep breath, he surveyed the cell before him. Really, it couldn’t be less accommodating. A bucket turned over in the corner and three walls of bars set next to the wooden wall of the ship. 

“At least it’s not cold stone.” He whispered to himself trying his best to find any light in the situation. A sudden realization hit him then and for a moment hope swelled hin his breast…until he realized that they’d walked a very long way and the range on his earing’s enchantment was very short.

Still, it couldn’t hurt to try. He had to raise both hands to touch his earing since the chain on the manacles was only about four inches wide. “Does anyone hear me?” He paused, waiting a moment. “Vex? Keyleth?....Vax?” Sure enough he was met with only silence. 

Biting his lip, he stepped away from the bars as suddenly even their very proximity to him made him uncomfortable. Scooting away until his back was against the wooden wall of the ship, he slid down to the floor, leaning against it. 

All he could do now was wait it seemed…  
\---  
The hours that passed in the cell were hard to keep track of. He’d been brought here late in the evening so it was probably sometime in the next day when he felt the ship begin to move. There was no jerk or obvious lurch, but he knew none the less. 

Gritting his teeth together, Percy let out another long calming breath as the anxiety and fear tried to overtake him once again. Wrapping his arms around his legs and burying is head in his knees, he focusing mostly on breathing. His exhaustion wasn’t helping the situation much either.

Regaining full control over his emotions, the gunman repositioned. Despite having slept in far more uncomfortable places, this was probably the worst. It wasn’t the hard surface of the wood beneath him that kept his mind from resting, but rather the people that surrounded him. It was the fact that he was once again behind bars and a prisoner to Anna Ripley. It was the knowledge that his new found family was far from him and growing further. 

Despite all of this, eventually, Percy nodded off. 

He was suddenly started away by the sound of the metal clank of the cell door. Eyes snapping open, he had barely remembered where he was before strong hands were hauling him to his feet. 

Everything ached from the time spent awkwardly asleep on the floor but he steadfastly ignored it. “Where are you taking me?” He inquired, not expecting an answer. 

“The boss has requested your presence, mate.” 

Percy tensed at that, as if it wasn’t what he’d been expecting. But the confirmation of it caused his heart to leap into his throat. Steeling himself for what was about to happen, Percy calmed his mind and let an indifferent expression settle onto his face. To his credit, he managed to keep it when he was forced into what appeared to be Ripley’s office. 

“Hello, Percival, how was your night?” Ripley didn’t move from where she sat behind the desk, but rather smiled up at him.  
“Lovely, thank you.” The gunman laced his tone with sarcasm and cheer as the two thugs that fetched him from the cell shoved him down into the chair opposite her desk. He didn’t move his narrowed gaze from her as he felt the shackles being removed and rough rope begin to tightly fasten his wrists and ankles down. “Somehow I knew that you wouldn’t keep your word.”

Ripley tsk’d as she finally stood from her seat and rounded the desk to lean on it. “I said that I couldn’t guarantee your safety if your friends staged a rescue effort, not that I could guarantee your safety all together.” 

Percy humphed at that. He supposed he expected something like this all along. He was just glad that it was him and not Vex. “Fine then, let’s get this over with. What do you want?” 

Ripley smiled at that, the expression almost malicious. “I want a lot of things, Percival. How about we start with a chat?” 

The gunman didn’t give her the satisfaction of an answer, as he studied her, keeping his expression blank. This was the first time he’d gotten a real look at her new hand and frankly it was more than he was expecting from her. The intricacy of the design was almost beyond him and he figured the only way that it was functioning as it was, was some kind of enchantment. 

Ripley tsk’ed again at his silence. “No? hmmm…” The smile that grew on her face suddenly made Percy very uncomfortable, and even more so when she leaned forward and plucked the glasses off his face. Turning them in her hands, she then gently folded them and set them on her desk. “Well…we’ll start with something different then…”

The blow that struck caught him off guard and was almost too fast for him to perceive. At the bloom of pain and the sparks that crossed his vision, it took him a moment for the daze to subside. He could feel blood begin to run from his nose and the realization hit that it was probably broken. 

“That was for making a fool of me back in Whitestone.” 

Despite the pain, Percy managed a weak laugh. “Oh, I don’t need to do that Anna, you do it all on your own.” He almost expected another blow, but instead she only laughed as well. 

“My, my, you really have changed since the scared little boy I questioned all of those years ago.” 

Opening his eyes, he once again set his gaze on her. Her image blurred around the edges and he had a hard time focusing without his glasses but he did so none the less. “I’m no longer some naive child, Ripley. A lot has happened in the past five years. I’ve seen darker things than you could even dream.” 

“Oh?” The smile in her voice caught him off guard. “Do you mean Orthax?” 

It was those words that finally had the gunman’s passive expression break. “What-“ He hadn’t mentioned Orthax to Ripley. He hadn’t even used any of the demon’s abilities in her presence…there was no way....

A cold sensation hit him then, sinking into his skin and sending shiver down his spine. A moment later, black smoke suddenly surrounded him, swirling and moving of its own volition. It was an ability he knew well…one that he used himself….but…

Cold dread and fear gripped his heart as he raised wide eyes to Ripley. This time her visage was engulfed by black smoke, seeping from her collar and sleeves to raise and twist around her. With his vision blurred as it was, for a moment it looked like Anna’s form grew twice in size as the demon engulfed her. But then it faded and all that was left was the slight swirl of smoke. “H-ho-w..”

“No one likes to be abandoned, Percival.” Suddenly the intricacy of her hand made a whole lot more sense. “But now that you understand the exact position you’re in, I do hope you’ll cooperate.” 

Setting his jaw, and turning his wide eyed gaze to stare straight ahead at the wall, he didn’t answer her. He worried about the undignified sound of fear that would escape if he did. What were the chances…what were the chances that Orthax would seek out Ripley?  
This was just the payment for what he’d done, wasn’t it? This was the price for his revenge…for retaking Whitestone. This was the price he’d pay for the friendship and family he’d found in Vox Machina.  
This was the culmination of all his bad choices and decisions…torture and death and Ripley’s hands…and Orthax’s hands...to make it worse. That was what he expected anyway.  
But she had made a mistake in letting him in on her pact with the demon. Now he knew that there was no way he was getting out alive, there was absolutely no way he was going to give her anything. 

“I intend to make this a hard on you as humanly possible. So whatever you’re planning on doing, just get it over with.” He finally spoke, voice determined, but also betraying some of the fear that was twisting his guts. 

Ripley’s smug grin fell then as she regarded her prisoner’s expression. His resolve seemed steadfast now…but she hadn’t actually done anything to him yet…and there were a lot of ways to break a person. Crossing her arms, she let out a sigh. “You know, I was going to ask you for your designs and the specifics on your pepperbox and rifle, but perhaps I’ll just make due with my own. The people I’ve sold them to seem happy with my designs even though they lack your finesse.”  
Percy’s eyes shot up to meet hers at that. “What?” He breathed, horror filling him. He’d known that she’d probably been creating guns to give to her men…but the fact that she’d been selling them? The thought of what he’d created entering the word made him feel sick. 

“The best part is, that I began selling them solely because I knew how it would drive you crazy. He told me so, anyway.” The tick in Percy’s jaw proved her right. “The gold doesn’t hurt, either.”

“What do you ‘want’ Anna.” He finally grit out, his anger getting the best of him. 

“I want your designs. I want information. I want to know all of Vox Machina’s strengths and weaknesses and I want to know everything you know about the dragons.” 

Percy laughed bitterly. “I’ll die before I give you any of that.” Particularly the part about Vox Machina. Especially not that…. 

“We’ll see about that Percival.” Ripley stepped towards him, gathering a handful of white hair and forcing his head up to look at her. “We’ll see how much of that terrified boy is left in you.”  
\----  
Percy had banished most of the memories of the first time he’d been at Ripley’s mercy. He had still been in his late teens at the time. But even for his age, he had been particularly young. Unlike those who grew up fast on the streets and were adults at that age, he had lived a sheltered life. He had still been a boy, naive and carefree, and hadn’t been equipped in the least to deal with torture. 

It scarred him, both physically and mentally. And despite banishing most of that week and the majority of the next few years from his head, he couldn’t ever seem to forget all of it. 

He remembered pain, so agonizing that he was sure that he was going to die. He remembered loss and sorrow and loneliness, sitting in the cold damp cell in the basement of his own home. He remembered the despair and the hopelessness. And he remembered Ripley most of all. How cold and indifferent she’d been. How she was both ruthless and merciless and genuinely terrifying. 

Now he was much older. And despite it only being five years, it was like he’d aged so much more than he should of in that amount of time. The life that he’d led up until now had been a hard one. But with Vox Machina…with Vex…he had lived and loved and experienced a life time’s amount in just those short few years. 

It was why we wouldn’t be able to forget this bout with Ripley. He was stronger now with a mind that wasn’t nearly as fragile as it was those years ago. He wouldn’t be able to so easily banish bad memories now. And although no one could be fully equipped to endure torture, he was as close to being there that he was going to get. Or so he thought anyway.

He’d forgotten how well versed she was with a blade, and how well she knew human anatomy. It made sense, considering she was trained as a doctor. 

It had only been a few minutes before the first whimper escaped him. The steel of her blade burned his skin with agony and left a sharp cold lingering pain that he could only attribute to Orthax. 

“Just tell me when you want to stop and we can, Percival. You know what I want from you.”  
She scrapped the tip of the blade down the fabric of the front of his vest as she spoke, causing the gunman to pull in a ragged breath. “..Not happening.” He could already feel the blood pooling under his arms and down to his hands from the wounds she’d inflicted as he strained desperately and futilely against the ropes. 

“I’m almost glad that you said that.” She replied, picking the buttons of his vest and shirt open before pulling the velvet material of his thin scarf from around his neck. 

His already thundering heart picked up faster as he felt the faint prick of her blade touch the bare skin of his chest. “I see you have a lot more scars than I left you with..” Ripley leaned in closer dragging the tip of the blade across one of the most prominent flaws in his skin but making a point not to actually draw blood. 

Looking him in the eye, she smiled calmly. “Has you’re dear Vex’ahlia seen these?” She purred, not even glancing down as she teased his skin with the cold steel and the pain that would surely come. “Don’t think I don’t know. I’ve been listening to you ever since Whitestone. I wasn’t even surprised when you sold yourself to me for her.” 

“-don’t.” Was all Percy managed to bite out as she drew the knife up to his throat, not doing any damage, but promising it. 

“Have you told her how you got these?” This time it was the steel claws of Anna’s hand that traced over the scars on his chest. “Have you told her how you begged and cried and pleaded and gave me everything I wanted?” 

Pain lanced through him as she suddenly dug the blade into his shoulder, causing him to cry out. “I don’t think you have, have you?” Ripley continued, ignoring the pained whimper. “I bet that I’ve seen more of you than she has.” 

“Stop-“ He tried again, but ended up finishing his sentence with a cry of pain. 

“I know you a lot better than you think I do, Percival.” Ripley droned on, dragging another line of blood across him. “You don’t think you deserve her, is that it? Oh, but it’s not because of Orthax is it…or the darkness in your heart. It’s because you’re weak. Like you’ve always been. You'd only disappoint her.” 

Despite the tears of pain streaking down his face, the gunman managed a reply. “-you don’t know anything-! Aurgh-!“ 

“Don’t I? You were too weak to save you’re dear Vex in that alleyway. You just keep fucking up, don’t you Percival. You’re here because of you.” 

Knowing full well that she was trying to manipulate him, the pain mixed with words he’d already been berating himself with were starting to get to him. It didn’t help that he hadn’t really been entirely sound of mind lately as it was. Pitching forward in the chair slightly, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to swallow the pain and tears that were welling in his chest. 

A harsh jerk from her hand in his hair brought him back up to look her in the eye, followed by a soft comforting hand on the side of his face. “Poor, fuck up Percival. You know that she’d never actually want you right? Maybe this is for the best.” 

Percy couldn’t even respond to that. She was right after all.  
But as soon as her hand stroked his cheek, something in his mind bounced back to him. A memory of the pain he’d endured at her hands five years ago. This was Ripley. This was Ripley hurting him. 

Sucking in a few ragged breaths, he turned blood shot yet fiery eyes up to meet hers. When he spoke, his voice was a deep ragged rasp, but he let her have it anyway. “Speak for yourself, Anna. Maybe you’re just self-conscious that no one will ever want you because you were so stupid you blew off your own han-“

Unfortunately he finished his sentence with a hoarse scream as she plunged the knife deep into his shoulder. “How dare you, you little shit.” She growled, steel hand coming up to grip his throat. She didn’t squeeze yet, but just reminded him of the position he was in. 

“-might as well kill me…” Percy rasped despite her choke hold. “-ot giving you anything.” 

Pulling her blade out from his shoulder and releasing her grip on his throat, Ripley stepped back to regard him. After a moment of silence she actually smiled.  
“You were right, this isn’t going to be as easy as it was back then.” 

Listening in confusion despite the pain that muddled his thoughts, that cold dread hit him again when he heard the deep unearthly voice filled the room. A voice he would have been happy never to hear again.

“He will break…” 

Orthax. 

With that, Percy dropped his head to his chest, letting out a rough breath. He intended to make this as difficult for Ripley as possible. And if all that meant was surviving, then that’s what he intended to do.  
\--


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ripley continues to lay into her prisoner for information, the rest of Vox Machina desperately try and figure out how to stage and rescue....and more importantly where Percy even is.  
> Fortunately, they may have an unexpected ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hohoh, here we go  
> Just me continuing to be awful  
> nothing to see here

He wasn’t sure why they even bothered reshackling him after they dragged him back to the cell. Even at his best he wasn’t much of a hand to hand combatant. But now, as bloody and battered as he was, it was all he could do to stumble over and slide down against the wall in a dishevelled mess. 

Grimacing, he lay a hand over the wound in his shoulder. For the most part everything Ripley had done was superficial, albeit painful. His shoulder was the only exception, it was the cost of his jab at her. 

Laying his head back against the wood, he shut his eyes, swallowing dryly. Each beat of his heart sent another throb of pain from every inflicted wound and without distraction it was hard not to dwell on it. 

The sound of light footfalls brought his attention up as someone approached the cell. He squinted into the dim light, but without his glasses he couldn’t clearly make out the persons face under the hood of their cloak. “Dear gods, what is it now?” He croaked out, automatically falling to sarcasm as a defensive measure. “Not even ten minutes to recover?” 

“I’m not here to hurt you.” The voice that replied was actually familiar to him. Male, quiet…young…perhaps his age? Squinting he tried to focus on the shrouded face as the man entered the cell. 

“What then?” 

“Here.” The figure crouched before him, pressing a water skin into his blood slicked hands. It was only then that he was able to make out enough of the features to place the man in his mind. 

“..Gods….Kynan?” he accepted the skin, but didn’t move to drink it, still mostly in shock over the others identity. “-what are you…what are you doing here? With Ripley?” His voice cracked a little at her name, betrayal registering clearly in his tone. 

“After Vox Machina….turned me away…She found me and offered me a job.” There was bitterness in his voice as he continued, but there was also something else…uncertainty perhaps. “She told me things…about you…about Vox Machina. She let me listen to your conversations. You said…you said that you were responsible for the dragons….I heard you…” 

Percy squinted up at the young man for a moment before speaking, his voice still hoarse. “When you have hundreds of people depending on you and your strength, it’s hard not to start blaming yourself when bad things happen….when you can’t save them. In the original plot against the city we stumbled across a cloaked blue dragon and in the fight that ensued, killed him. At the time, it seemed the right thing to do. It was that moment that we worried brought Thordak’s wrath down; retribution for an ally perhaps.” He paused, grimacing as he repositioned himself against the hard wall he was leaning on. “Whatever that woman has told you about us is a lie. Do you have any idea who she is?” This time it was Percy’s turn to speak with bitterness laced in his tone. 

“She’s the person who accepted me and trained me when you wouldn’t…” There was a pause at the end of his sentence that gave the gunman hope. 

“But she’s not entirely who you thought…” Percy shut his eyes, letting out a long breath. “What will you do, Kynan? She’ll kill me, you know. Eventually.” 

“I….I….don’t know.” The blonde swallowed, glancing Percy up and down. He had always known Doctor Ripley to be a little more ruthless that the average person, but he hadn’t expected her capable of something like this. Percival had been someone he’d looked up to it the past. It was hard to just stand by and see this happening. “I’ll try and talk to her…I…” He stopped when he felt Percy’s hand reach out to weakly grasp his arm. 

“-no…don’t. If she believes you’ll betray her, there’s a good chance you’ll end up in here with me.” He tried to meet the others eyes but couldn’t seem to focus past the blur of his vision. “Try…” he paused, thinking. “Try and get a message to Vox Machina…if you can. If you cannot, don’t put yourself in danger. I’d rather not have any more blood on my hands.”  
Finally he lifted the water skin and drank, emptying it in pretty much one go. 

Accepting it back with a furrowed brow when he felt the tackiness of blood now staining the skin, Kynan studied the gunman for a moment. In the past at a glance, he’d always thought Percy to be much older than him. He hadn’t really met any of Vox Machina personally before that fateful day outside of their keep, so he didn’t really have much to go on other than the white hair. Studying him now, the young man couldn’t help the shock that struck him when he realized that Percy couldn’t be much older than he was.  
But unlike Kynan, there were already lines beginning to crease around his eyes; something dark and hardened about him that he seemed too young to carry. 

“This is what you were trying to warn me away from wasn’t it….this life…” 

“Yes,” Percy breathed, a bitter humour in his voice. “Though I feel we drove you right into it, and I’m sorry for that. Vax in particular can be….a bit harsh. Trust me, I get it from him as well.” 

There was a silence that spanned between them for a moment before Kynan rose to his feet. “I’m sorry…”

“I am as well.” A frown creased his brow as he watched the other retreat from the cell. “Ah, Kynan…regardless of what happens to me…get away from her as soon as you can. For your sake.” 

Percy couldn’t tell if the cloaked figure nodded or not as the barred door clinked shut once more. He could only assume so when he didn’t hear a reply. After a moment his footsteps echoed away down the hall and he was once again left in solitude. 

Mind once again racing, Percy shut his eyes, laying his head back against the wooden wall. Perhaps Keyleth had something right when she went off on one of her tangents about how they were doing more bad for the world than good. He already knew that his legacy wouldn’t be one for good now that his weapons were out in the world. But now with Kynan….how many people had they set down a path of blood and pain?

Perhaps there was still hope for the young man even if there was none for him. As long as Kynan could escape Ripley’s service then he would be ok. But that wouldn’t be any time soon seeing as they were all trapped on this ship together for however long the journey took. He could only hope that the young man had the sense to listen to him.  
\------

This time Percy was left alone for considerably longer than the last. Well it felt like it anyway. With no window’s and no light other than the low oil burning lantern in the corner it was next to impossible to keep track of time. 

Thankfully, he managed to nod off once more, wedged in the corner of the cell next to the bars. But the time he spent unconscious wasn’t at all restful and didn’t help relieve the profound exhaustion he felt. For the first few hours he was in a sort of tired purgatory where he couldn’t rest but also couldn’t seem to wake up and open his eyes. 

Eventually, he managed to haul himself to his feet to stretch his very stiff and sore limbs. His entire body ached, and he could feel his left shoulder freezing up in pain where Ripley had stabbed him. The other wounds tugged painfully where they blood had scabbed over and were now tearing with his movement. 

Crossing his arms over his chest the best he could despite the shackles, he began a slow pace. It didn’t really help anything other than to slightly warm his body and to somewhat occupy his mind. 

When the sound of more than one set of footfalls approached, he wasn’t sure if it was dread that filled him or a sense of welcome at the distraction.  
It was dread, he decided, when the form of Anna Ripley emerged from the shadows. He couldn’t make out her features, but the cold shiver that ran down his spine told him who it was well enough. 

“Have you reconsidered what I’ve asked of you, Percival?” She crossed her arms, smiling at him from behind the bars.

“You can go straight to the nine hells, Anna.” He responded with as much bite to his voice that he could muster.

The woman only sighed as she stepped back from the bars and motioned for the men behind her to approach. 

Licking his dry lips as the cell clinked open and then men approached, he found himself automatically backing away. Despite his retreat they caught him easily enough, one of them holding him still as the other unshackled him. 

He forced himself not to start hyperventilating when his shirt and vest were pulled from his shoulders, leaving him bare from the waist up. That didn’t bode well.  
His stomach did a flip when his hands were then forced through the cell bars and then once again chained in a manner to hold him there. The steel bars were cold against his chest, causing goosebumps to rise across his arms and back.

“As much as Orthax likes to see you suffer, Percival, things don’t have to be this way.” 

Percy shut his eyes as he leaned his forehead against the bars and listened closely to Ripley’s footsteps as she crossed the cell. “If your deal is, and I’m only assuming here, anything like mine was, then my name is engraved somewhere on one of your weapons.” He paused for a moment, as if waiting for a reply before continuing. “I’m taking your silence for a yes. And if that is the case, regardless of what I tell you you’ll take my life in the end. I am correct?” 

The sudden presence of her cold steel clawed hand on his back made him tense considerably. “We’re not talking about your death right now; we’re talking about everything that’s going to happen in between.” Her voice dropped to a low timber that made the gunman nervous. 

“It doesn’t really matter what happens to me. I won’t give you anything.” As he spoke, he felt her claws dig into his back in irritation. 

“Very well, Percival.” She hummed, removing her hand and taking a few steps away. 

She was silent for just long enough that he began to wonder what she was planning when the first strike fell across his shoulders. Crying out in pain from the unexpected snap of the whip, he didn’t really even have time to prepare for the next one…or the next one after that.  
Each time it fell, the pain seemed to get progressively worse as it began to shred into his battered back.  
Pressed into the bars as much as he could, as if he could somehow escape the pain, eventually Percy slid to his knees. 

Only two more strikes fell once the gunman was one the ground but he could barely tell. The pain was just an all-encompassing creature that radiated through his chest and down his arms. Hugging the bars like they were a life line, it was all he could do to keep focusing on drawing each ragged breath. 

Kneeling beside him, Ripley circled his neck with her arm before leaning in to his ear. “That was only fifty, my dear. I was planning on continuing if you’re feeling up to it. Hm?” 

Not quite entirely lucid enough to answer her properly, the only sound that escaped the gunman was a pathetic keen. 

“I’ll make you a deal, Percival, how about this.” Leaning forward to get a look at his face, she rolled her eyes for a moment before patting him on the cheek. “Come now, pay attention.” She waited for over a minute before the young man seemed focused enough to comprehend her.  
“Apologize to me. Apologize for humiliating me and threatening me in Whitestone and I’ll stop for the day.”

“I’m sorry…gods, I’m so sorry, please….” He was already gushing a string of barely comprehensible words before she’d even finished her sentence. 

“Good boy…” She ruffled the blood splattered and dirty white hair before standing and moving away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Percy flinched, thinking that she’d start again and was relieved when her footsteps retreated away; leaving him once again in silence. 

Collapsing even further to the ground despite his arms still being shackled outside of the bars, the gunman didn’t even care how pained and uncomfortable he was. It was like every ounce of strength had been sapped from his body and he would be glad if he never had to move again. Shutting his eyes, it didn’t take long for him to slip into unconsciousness.  
\---

Keyleth’s heart was in her throat as she watched the fifteen second vision of where he scry spell had taken her.  
“Percy-“ She choked his name, tears beginning to streak down her face.

“What!? What is it!?” Vex’s panicked voice filled her ears as she came out of her spell. She suddenly felt the rangers hands grip her arm almost painfully. 

“Kiki…” Vax spoke her name softly. “Is he…” 

“Don’t. Don’t say it…” Vex shook her head, tears beginning to well in her eyes as well. 

“Is he alive..?” Grog finished the sentence for him, causing panic to bloom in her chest. 

“I…I don’t know.” The druid whispered, “He’s…” She couldn’t finish her sentence, the sight of her best friend’s broken and battered body filling her vision. By the gods, he was being tortured….

“Will the spell even work on someone whos…” Scanlan didn’t want to finish his sentence. There was no way…

“Give me the scrying stone.” The determination in Vex’s voice caught them all off guard as her dark eyes bore into Keyleth. 

“Vex..” The druid bit her lip. “I don’t…”

“It might not be something you want to see…” She felt her brother’s hand on her shoulder but shrugged it off. 

“No. Give it to me, I have to know.” Her voice was dangerously close to breaking as finally Keyleth relinquished the stone from her satchel, handing it over. 

Immediately, the ranger focused in, sending the spell out to find her white haired gunman. Flinging her vision out above the sea, it quickly zeroed in on the ship. Zooming in again, her sight was suddenly drawn into a dimly lit room, before focusing in on her target. 

At the immediate sight of him, the half-elf’s heart stopped. He was shackled to the bars of a cell, half slumped, half laying against them.  
Bringing her hands up to cover her mouth, Vex wanted to scream as she frantically studied him in the short time she had. He was so injured, and in a way that could be nothing else but torture. It only relieved some of the pain in her heart when she realized that his chest was still rising and falling with each breath. He was alive. 

And then she was snapped back; the sight of Percy gone, and the concerned faces of all her friends suddenly filling her vision. A sob suddenly escaping her, she turned and fell into her brother, who wrapped his arms around her tightly. “Is he alive..?”  
Vax was almost afraid to ask, but when he felt Vex nod her head relief filled him. “Shh, we’ll get him back, ok? We’ll get him back…”

The first time they’d scry’d had only been a few hours after the gunman’s disappearance. Vex had returned hours after she'd left in a disheveled mess and a flurry of anger and tears.  
Vax of course immediately blamed Percy for his sister’s circumstance, which only make her frantic panic last even longer. When she was finally calm enough to actually explain what had happened, the rogue immediately regretted his placed blame. 

Giving himself up for Vex…that was something that he would have done. But he was her brother….this was Percy. He wondered if Percy sacrificed himself to try and get some sort of redemption for causing her death…or perhaps it was because of his ridiculous sense of guilt he felt over Ripley being alive.

Either way, Vax silently thanked the gunman, wondering what he would have done if Vex 'had' been taken. He would probably have started with killing Percy….not actually of course, but the gunman had been walking a thin line with him for a long time and that would have been one of the final straws. 

Now with him gone, the rogue felt nothing but guilt of his own over how badly he’d treated the man during the past few months. He’d been so angry for so long about Vex’s death and Percival’s hand in it. Now he’d given himself up to the one person in the world who probably hated him as much as he hated her.

It was why it had been Vax’s suggestion that they scry the man. If Ripley kept her word then he should be alive and ok. But it was Ripley they were talking about.  
At the time, it seemed to be true at least from what Keyleth at told him. He was being held in the jail cell of a ship, but was otherwise alright. 

“We have to…we have to do something…” Vex’s strained voice brought Vax out of his thoughts as he let her pull away from his arms. 

“It’s what we’ve been discussing, so let's get back to the problem,” Scanlan was probably the calmest out of everyone. “How are we supposed to get to him without her hurting him?”

“She’s already been hurting him, Scanlan.” Remnants of her choked sobbing remained, but mostly Keyleth’s voice held anger now.

“So she broke the deal, then.” Grog pounded the handle of his axe into his other hand. “That means we find her and hurt her back.” 

“That is true…but she’s on a ship. We have no idea where she’s going and where she is.” Vax frowned. 

“Scanlan..can you…Can you find them somehow? I don’t know…” Vex managed to get her voice back under control as she furiously scrubbed the tears away. 

“I mean…other than scrying I’m not sure….and that doesn’t really tell us anything.”

“Maybe if we ask around the docks, someone will know where they were headed…” Vax offered. 

Their conversation was interrupted by a flurry of wings as a raven landed on the outside sill of their room’s window. Cocking its head to the side and looking at them, it tapped its beak on the glass, once…then twice. 

Frowning, it was Vax that approached, sliding the window open. 

“Be careful, Vax.” Scanlan was quick to warn, but the rogue wasn’t listening. 

Entirely focused on the bird, he didn’t even notice Keyleth approach him from behind. “Is it one of yours? Is the Raven Queen helping us?” 

“No…” Vax finally turned back to them as the raven flew off. “But someone is.” He held up a piece of paper for the rest to see.

Before Keyleth could take it, Vex had already snatched it from his hand. “Coordinates?” She, looked down to the paper and back up to her brother. “Do you think..?” 

“I don’t know. It’s too much of a coincidence otherwise.” 

“What does it actually say?” Scanlan reached up, snatching the paper out of Vex’s hand, again before Keyleth got a chance to take it. 

Sure enough, on the small piece of paper there were scrawled coordinates. Underneath was written in a sloppy but legible hand. ‘Glintshore. Hurry, before he dies.’ 

“Ok.” Scanlan rubbed the back of his neck. “Do we trust this? If we do, we need to get moving and soon.” 

“Stubby?” The rogue turned his attention to his sister, his brow furrowed. “Do we go?”

Vex nodded, biting her lip. “I don’t care who sent it. We’re going regardless.” The longer Percy was with that bitch, the more her heart would break.  
\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually reread this once so there shouldn't be as many errors as there usually are. If you see one...or five, just ignore them. 
> 
> ...characterization is hard. I mean...Percy and Ripley are easy. Even Kynan. But the rest? gah. oh man.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ripley begins exercising different methods of torture and Percy begins to question exactly how long he can withstand it. Fortunately, he had an ally on board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOPS I JUST CONTINUE TO BE AWFUL  
> CAN'T BE STOPPED

Percy wasn’t sure what roused him awake, but even as his consciousness was returning to his body, pain was the first thing that registered.  
The awkward way his arms were positioned and shackled through the bars had caused them to go numb. And at his first movement, pain seared through his shoulders as the joints repositioned for the first time in hours. Equally painful if not more so was the fact that his back was still burning as if it were on fire. 

“Percival..?” He zero’d in on the quiet voice that was calling out to him, glad for something to focus on that wasn’t pain.  
Only then did he realize there was a soft hand on his arm. “Please wake up, come on…” 

Groaning audibly, he made a proper effort to get himself from the ground to at least lean against the bars, balanced on his hip. His arms being shackled in front of him made it difficult and the fact that every little movement hurt didn’t help either. 

His eyes felt like they were glued shut as he finally cracked them open. Kynan was kneeling on the other side of the bars, a look of concern on his face. 

“Thank the god’s, I thought she’d killed you.” 

“-not yet.” His voice was little more than a croak and he coughed a few times trying to clear it. “Although I’m not sure if I’m thankful she hasn’t just yet. I’ll let you know in a minute.” Despite his situation he once again fell back on sarcasm.  
Leaning his head against the bars in exhaustion, he could feel Kynan’s gaze on him. “-she know you’re down here?”

“No.” The rogue spoke quietly. “It’s why I can’t free your hands. I’d like to but she’d realize…” 

“-‘s’ok.” He swallowed dryly. “Why are you here, if I may ask.” He paused to clear his throat again as his voice grew hoarse, “Not that I’m unhappy about having company.” 

“I sent a raven to Vox Machina yesterday after I spoke to you. We’re far at sea so I’m not sure if he’ll make it….but here’s hoping.” 

Percy let out a tiny giddy laugh despite his exhaustion. “That’s more than I ever expected. Thank you Kynan.” Resting against the bars, he shut his eyes again. 

Silence spanned between them as Kynan dropped from his knees to sit cross legged on the ground. “What did you ever do to her to warrant this..?” He nearly whispered the question, trying not to stare at the lines of blood drawn across the gunman’s back from where the whip had struck. 

Percy was silent for a moment, thinking. “It’s nothing I’ve done to her that’s the reason she’s doing this. It’s what she wants from me.” 

“But…” The rogue paused. “That can’t be all…” 

“I tried to kill her once…” Percy breathed a painful laugh. “Although I failed so horribly I don’t think she even noticed…”

“Why…?” A silence spanned between them once again, presumably as Percy thought. “You don’t have to tell me…” 

“She helped murder my family…put a vampire into power over my city…among other things…”

“Oh…” Kynan was the one to fall silent this time. The hardness in the gunman’s features and the lines around his eyes made sense now. He was beginning to understand the kind of life people like Vox Machina lead. Events that drove people into dangerous situations…events that drove people into great deeds and feats of strength… they seemed to originate around moments like this one. 

The thought of it being him in that cell terrified him. If he and Percy were in opposite positions, he was absolutely sure that he would be a broken sobbing mess. 

At the silence, Percy glanced over at the young man. He couldn’t make out his expression exactly without his glasses, but he understood. “Just don’t cross her Kynan. Do what she tells you. It’s the only way you’ll survive.” 

The rogue was silent for a few minutes, eyes down as if he were searching the wooden floor for an answer. “I wish I’d listened to you. To Vax’ildan…”

“There are things all of us wish we could change. I have more regrets in my life than anything.” He grimaced, clasping his hands together to relieve his wrists of the shackles bite. “To be honest, this is probably the exact fate afforded to me by the life I’ve lived and choices I’ve made. The moment I let Ripley go rather than kill her back in Whitestone, this has been coming. I’ll regret that until the moment she kills me.” 

“Or Vox Machina shows up.” Kynan was frowning, studying the gunman. 

“Or that..” Percy let out a sigh. “Hopefully that... But for now I’ll have to live with my choices, as unfortunate as some of them are. Like we all do.” 

“You shouldn’t be the one comforting me...” Kynan spoke quietly. 

“Oh, just your presence here is a comfort, trust me.” Percy shut his eyes once more. “The conversation alone is a welcome distraction….” He paused before opening his eyes once more and attempting to level a gaze at Kynan. “How long has it been…since I’ve been unconscious?” 

The rogue thought for a moment. “About seven hours. Maybe more…?” 

“It pains me to say this, but you shouldn’t linger for much longer. If you’re found down here, it may be a problem.” As much as Kynan was helping him keep his mind off the pain and his aching body, losing him to Ripley would be even worse. As of the moment, the rogue was the only person on the entire ship that he could consider an ally. 

Nodding, Kynan hovered for a minute longer before speaking. “Just….hang on for a little longer. I’ll…I’ll try and think of something.” With that he slipped away, his quiet footsteps retreating up the stairs. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Percy dreaded what plan the young man might try and concoct. He wasn’t much worried about himself since he didn’t have anything to lose. But if Ripley realized that Kynan planned to betray her…that thought worried him. 

Kynan reminded him of himself in a way; his younger self. He was trapped in a situation much too tense and dark for someone with so little experience. For all the reasons that Vax had so harshly turned him away, were the reasons that this situation was so dangerous for him. He wouldn’t be able to withstand Ripley’s wrath, and that was only if she didn’t just outright shoot him in the head. He assumed that for the most part, Kynan was expendable to her and he dearly hoped that he wouldn’t be the reason for the young man’s death. 

The never ending exhaustion once again overtook him and despite the pain, Percy allowed himself to slip back down the ground. He tried to keep his hands clasped together for as long as possible, but eventually he tired and the bite of the manacles returned. 

Resting his head on his arm, he clenched his jaw. Now without anything to distract him, his injuries seemed to radiate pain even worse than before.  
Not able to return to sleep he just lay there in silent suffering until the sound of footfalls could be heard descending the stairs. 

“How are you feeling, Percival?” Ripley’s voice cut through the silence, causing his stomach to twist with nerves as he heard her and her posse approach the cell. 

“Terrific, thank you for your concern.” Percy grit out, his voice hoarse as he used every ounce of strength in his body to push himself from the floor and to his knees. His wounds tugged and screamed with agony from the movement, but he refused to face this woman lying down. 

“As sharp as ever.” She responded, humour in her voice. She had actually thought she’d made progress the last time she’d seen him, but it seemed that in the time left alone he’d once again strengthened his resolve. Surprisingly, this was going to be more difficult than she’d thought. “You’re stronger than I gave you credit for.”

“Thank you.” Percy rasped, actually managing to get himself to his feet. Every joint in his body ached, and he had to catch himself on the bars but he did it none the less. “You’re more foolish than I gave you credit for if you actually think I’ll give you anything.” 

“Oh…Percival, dear…you shouldn’t overestimate yourself.” He could hear her enter the cell behind him, causing him to tense considerably. “You are stronger than I gave you credit for, but everyone has a breaking point.” He flinched when her hand landed on his shoulder. “Even you.” 

Percy didn’t doubt that. She’d break him eventually, but never so badly he’d give her any information. It was his only goal. It was the center of what his steel resolve revolved around. 

The hand that was gripping his shoulder then raked down his back, causing the finally drying blood to crack open and flow once more. The blossom of agony was so unexpected and intense that Percy couldn’t bite back the shout of pain that escaped him. 

“Unfortunately in preparing everything my crew and I need to obtain the next vestige, I won’t have much time to spend with you for a few days.” Ripley stepped away, motioning for her men to enter the cell. “Fortunately, there are other means of torture.” 

Her words caused his heart to flip in worry and panic and the hands suddenly gripping his arms and freeing his wrists didn’t help. “It’s a pity. I will ‘so’ miss your company.” The venom in his words was clear as day, yet caused the woman to laugh. 

“Oh, my dear, I’m sure you will.” Her words weren’t returned sarcasm, but so full of promise that it struck a chord of terror within him. 

Trying to keep his expression even, he grit his teeth as his wrists were drawn behind his back and reshackled. 

Being shoved into the center of the cell, he was finally able to get a good look at Ripley. Despite the dim light and his blurred vision, the sight of what she was holding made his heart skip a beat or two. Swallowing in fear, he took a few even breathes as he braced himself for what she had planned. 

Watching her step forward, he tried his best not to flinch as she reached up and slipped the noose around his neck. But once the rough cord was tightened, all bets were off as his anxiety and fear clawed its way to the surface of his mind. Closing his eyes, he let out a tiny whimper and he attempted to keep his expression more or less calm. 

He could feel the movement of the rope as it was tossed over one of the crossbeams of the ceiling and pulled just tight enough that he could only just stand flat on his feet without an issue. Opening his eyes, he glanced over to watch just as Ripley was tying off the end of the rope to one of the cell bars.

Confused but not unhappy that the noose wasn’t pulled tight; he kept his eyes on her as she stepped back over to him. “Is that it then?” He inquired, voice a rasp. 

She smiled, the expression on her face sinister. “That’s it.” She stated simply, meeting his eyes. Silence spanned for a moment before she spoke again. “You couldn’t have been very comfortable down here, could you Percival.” He made a point to keep his expression even but didn’t grace her words with an answer. “You must be exhausted…” Ripley purred, reaching forward to pat his cheek. “Just how long do you think you can stand there, my dear?”

At that, the sudden horrible realization of what she’d done hit him. She was just going to leave him like this, unable to move or sit down. Something must have flashed across his face then, because she laughed. 

“I told you. There are so many ways to break someone. You’ll give me what I want. It’s just a matter of time.” She paused, regarding him as she ran a hand down his chest. “But this all rides on how much stamina you have left…and you’re looking rather sturdy at the moment…”

Percy nearly scoffed at that. He couldn’t imagine he looked anything other than a walking corpse at the moment. Although he’d spent a long time unconscious, it hadn’t been at all restful. Not to mention he wasn’t a strong man to begin with, always wavering toward the thinner and lean side. There was really nothing sturdy about him.

Still frowning down at her, it almost appeared as if she would walk away. Before she did, her parting gift to him was the lightning fast movement that saw a thin stiletto jabbed into his thigh. Pitching forward in pain, the noose caught him before he could really double over. Instead he made a strangled sound before sucking in a few breathes and gritting his teeth. 

Shifting his weight onto his other foot, he waited for the initial wash of pain to pass before glaring down at her. But by the time he recovered enough to do so she was already leaving the cell. “Do try and stay conscious, Percival. It would be a pity if you died now.” And then she was gone. One of her men sank down to sit on the steps and began fiddling with something Percy couldn’t make out in the dim light.  
He wondered for a moment why someone was standing guard now, but quickly came to that realization ….in case he started hanging. 

Flexing his hands behind him, he tested the shackles. The position his arms were in now was far worse than before. His already aching shoulders sparked with pain as they were held in the unnatural position.

After an indeterminable amount of time, Percy quickly decided that Anna had been right. He would rather she had beat him than leave him like this. He had already been exhausted before, but the more time that passed the more unbearable it became. The deep wound in his thigh throbbed with every heartbeat, and every time he shifted his weight to that leg it hurt even more. 

To make matters worse, the swaying of the ship that he hadn’t really noticed before was beginning to make it difficult to keep his balance. More than once, he found the rope growing uncomfortably taught as he was pitched in some direction by the shifting of the vessel. 

Eventually, movement from the stairs caught his eye as the guard presumably was changing. The burley sailor looking man stood and left as a thinner dark cloaked individual took his place. 

Percy only glanced over long enough to register the change before going back to focus on staying balanced. It was getting harder and harder now. He could feel his leg wanting to give out, his eyes growing heavy and hard to keep open. He wanted so badly to shut them, but doing that would make it infinitely more difficult to keep his balance. 

Letting out a long ragged breath, he actually entertained the idea of just letting his legs give out underneath him. That thought only lasted a moment, as he ran all of the reasons why that would be a terrible thing to do through his mind. 

He had to just hold on, as hard as it was becoming, he just had to hold on. 

After about ten minutes or so, the figure on the stairs stood and approached the cell door. It took Percy a moment to actually focus enough to realize it was Kynan. 

Glancing around nervously, the rogue slipped into the cell and made short work of untying the rope. 

Immediately upon feeling the rope so slack, the gunman fell to his knees. Breathing heavily, he leaned forward, shutting his eyes and just allowing his body to relax. “…god’s, thank you….thank you…” He whispered, letting the exhaustion take hold. 

He felt Kynan’s hand on his shoulder as the young man crouched next to him. “My watch is only a few hours…but I couldn’t…I couldn’t just…” He trailed off. There were so many horrors in this world he couldn’t just stand by and watch one happen. He had left Emon to become stronger so he could help people…so he could be a hero. He couldn’t be a part of something like this. 

Uncorking his water skin, he showed it to the gunman, who nodded in appreciation. Holding to Percy’s lips, he allowed the man to drain most of it before pulling back. 

“Thank you, Kynan…” Percy trailed off, just the water alone helping his voice recover slightly. 

“Just rest, Percy.” The rogue responded, sinking down so he was cross legged on the floor. “I…” He grit his teeth. “She can’t know that I’m helping you like this. My watch is only a few hours.” 

“Understood.” Was all Percy managed, allowing himself to slip down to the ground. He couldn’t care less about his dignity right now, he was just too exhausted. 

Feeling hands on his shoulders, he didn’t understand what Kynan meant to do until his head was resting on the young man’s leg. He would have just been happy enough laying on the floor, but he had to admit, this was the most comfortable he’d been in days. Letting his eyes slip shut, it only took a few minutes before his consciousness drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 4:30 in the morning and I was so fucking exhausted writing most of this I could barely focus on the page. So hopefully most of it made sense. I tried to proof read it but my eyes are all blurry and I had to reread one sentence like twelve times for it to register. I tried.  
> I wanted to make it longer but I absolutely have to go to bed.


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vox Machina finally arrives to save their gunman. But at what cost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp

Jostled awake suddenly, pain was the first thing that registered to the gunman. His shoulders and wrists were impossibly sore, particularly the side where Ripley had stabbed him. Then came the fiery agony still radiating from his back with the stab wound to his thigh in a close second. 

Groaning, he could feel gentle hands on his shoulders. “Percy, my watch is almost over.” 

He made an incomprehensible sound before getting his wits about him enough to understand what was happening. ….Kynan…his watch. Oh.

“…right…yes..” His voice was strained as he began to push himself up. “..How long has it been?” 

“Only about four hours, I’m sorry…” Kynan spoke quietly, not thinking as he attempted to help Percy from the ground. 

As soon as the young man took his shoulder to help him up, pain lanced through the joint and down his arm. Gasping a pained breath, Kynan immediately let go, hands raised slightly. “I’m sorry!” The rogue was quick to apologize as the gunman sucked in a few deep breathes. 

“-’s fine…” Percy grit out, managing to push himself to his feet on his own. Breathing hard, he shut his eyes for a moment, swallowing dryly as he jogged his mind into waking entirely. He felt slightly dizzy from a variety of factors; something he hoped would go away quickly, considering his predicament. Some of that overwhelming fatigue was gone though, so that was at least a plus. But now that he was on his feet, he was he beginning to realize how weak he felt. It was probably for the same reasons why he felt so dizzy….a mix of exhaustion, blood loss, and lack of food. 

Grounding himself as well as he was able, he took a final deep breath before turning to nod at Kynan. The young man was holding the end of the rope, guilt playing across his face. As soon as he caught Percy’s gaze, he looked away in shame for what he had to do. Tossing the rope over the crossbeam he ran it towards the cell bars, looping it through and pulling it slightly before beginning to tie it. 

As the noose tightened once more, Percy suddenly lost his breath as it nearly pulled him from his feet. It only lasted a moment before Kynan let it loose again, glancing over at the gunman apologetically. “…Sorry…” 

“No, by all means, please kill me. At least I won’t have to deal with Ripley’s torment any longer.” He immediately felt bad for the sarcasm when the rogue looked over at him in horror. “It was…sarcasm, Kynan.” 

The young man only nodded as he tied off the rope with a haunted expression. Even though he knew that it wasn’t him…and that it had to be done, it still felt in that moment like he was responsible for what was happening. “I just…wish I could do more. I hate leaving you like this.” 

Percy furrowed his brow, his mouth pulling into a strained smile. “You’ve already done far more than I ever expected. You shouldn’t feel bad, this isn’t on you.” 

The rogue only nodded slightly, hovering awkwardly. “I should probably go…to meet the next watch..”

“What’s most important is you staying in Anna’s good graces. Just look after yourself, Kynan. Don’t worry about me.” 

Kynan nodded again, backing out of the cell and slipping over to sit on the stairs. It was only about ten minutes before his relief arrived in the form of another burly sailor. The rogue didn’t look back as he disappeared out of view. 

Once again without an ally, Percy quickly remembered exactly how ingenious and abhorrent his situation was. He may have underestimated Ripley’s cruelty simply for thinking of this. 

Time passed slowly and difficultly for the gunman. The rock of the ship and the sharp and throbbing pain in his thigh made it gruelling to stay on his feet. Any relief he had gotten from the few hours of rest was quickly burnt as the exhaustion of the torture set in once more.  
He was keenly aware when the guard changed again….less so when it changed the second time. By the third change of the guard, he barely noticed. It was all he could do to focus on anything but not hanging himself. And despite his attempts, he more than once found his breath choking off as he swayed and lost footing before managing to right himself. 

Once again, he found himself entertaining the idea of just letting himself fall. Either he would die and not have to undergo any more of this, or someone would save him and he at least wouldn’t be standing anymore…

A sudden thump of steps and disturbance on the deck above brought him out of his thoughts. Blinking a few times towards the stairs, he could make out the form of the guard suddenly standing up. A few moments passed before someone else flew down the stairs in a flurry of movement and restrained panic. 

“How did they find us!?” Ripley demanded as she approached the cell. 

Hope that had all but diminished swelled within him once more as he let a smile slip across his face. “Scared, Anna?” 

Growling, Ripley slammed the cell open, approaching him with long angry strides. 

As fuzzy and exhausted as his mind was, he didn’t even see the right hook coming. Head snapping to the side, he would have been knocked from his feet if it weren’t for the noose. And even then, he found his breath stolen for a moment before he could once again right himself. “Do you have something on you? Some enchantment?” She growled, but again Percy’s only response was a strained and rough laugh. 

“If you’re not afraid, you should be-“ He was cut off suddenly as Ripley wrenched the rope down and the noose was pulled so tight his toes barely brushed the floor. Panic blooming through him, for a moment he thought she was going to actually hang him before his feet once again met the wooden boards. 

Coughing, the gunman wheezed a breath, waiting a moment before speaking once more. His voice was a hoarse wreck but he managed the words all the same. “-Whatever you do to me now…” He wheezed another breath. “-will entirely depend on how painfully they kill you…” 

Ripley sneered up at him as she withdrew a knife. Snapping his mouth shut, he decided he’d tested his luck enough with rescue so close by, so he simply watched her. Watching her reach up, for a moment he was sure that she’d kill him, but instead her blade cut through the rope. 

Falling hard and ungracefully to his knees, he didn’t stay there long as Ripley hoisted him to his feet by his arm. She ignored his shout of pain as she dragged him forward. Once she was sure he had his footing, she let go and instead tugged him forward by the noose around his neck as if he were a dog. 

Having no choice but to follow her, he stumbled his way up the stairs and through the ship until they made it all the way to the deck. There were crew members scurrying around like rats, all well-armed and getting into position. 

The sight of the sky almost brought tears to his eyes as he came to realize that for a moment down there….he’d actually believed that he’d never see it again. The sun was low already, but not quite low enough to begin washing the sky with colors. The brief thought quickly left his mind when his eyes fell on the airship closing in. It was too far away to yet read the name on the outer hull, but it was fast approaching. 

Percy couldn’t help but hiss a breath when the cold hard press of Ripley’s knife was brought to his throat. In her other hand, she gripped a gun. In the light of the day, he could actually make out the basic design. It was slimmer that the Pepperbox had been, yet bigger that Retort. And at closer inspection, a text too blurry to read was scrawled across each barrel.

They waited like that for a moment before a purple light split the very air about ten feet in front of them and Scanlan stepped out. 

Immediately Ripley raised her gun, keeping the gnome who was holding his hands out diplomatically in her sights but not yet firing. 

“Scalan.” Percy wheezed the formal greeting, wondering what sort of ploy Vox Machina had in mind. 

“Percy…” Scanlan let his eyes linger on his friend for a moment, trying his best to keep the horror off his face at the gunman’s appearance. His eyes then snapped up to Ripley. 

“Any move from you and he dies.” Ripley’s voice was surprisingly even. “You broke the deal, coming here. All I wanted was to be left alone.” 

“I hate to break it to you, but if you wanted that, then you went about it in all the wrong ways.” Scanlan’s expression grew as serious as it could then. “You don’t just…take…one of us and expect to be left alone.” 

“I suppose I made the mistake of thinking you were a group of intelligent people.” Ripley sneered.

Staying silent, the fact that one of the crew members on board suddenly disappeared over the side didn’t escape Percy’s attention. It seemed, however, Anna hadn’t yet noticed. 

“Look. You don’t have to die here.” Scanlan made a point to keep steady eye contact with her as he spoke. “Just….give us Percy and the vestige and we’ll let you go. Simple.” 

Oh…no, she definitely had to die here. If he survived this encounter or not, there was no way Vox Machina was going to let Ripley go. That thought at least comforted him. 

Eyes drawn to the movement of the next crew member being drawn over the rails, it seemed that he wasn’t the only one to notice. 

It was then that all hell broke loose. Just as Ripley opened her mouth to call her crew to arms, a dark form flew from the shadows. Black cloak billowing, the rogue plunged both daggers as deep into Ripley’s back as they would go. 

Howling with both rage and agony, it wasn’t even a conscious reaction as she drew her hands back and in doing so slid the pressed blade across her prisoner’s throat. With the sound of Percy’s choked cry, Ripley immediately turned, blasting a round at close range right into her assailant’s stomach. 

“PERCY!” There were a few cries from various directions, the loudest and most panicked being Vex’s.

Ignoring Vox Machina and turning eyes on the rogue, she initially thought it was Vax…but the youthful face and blonde hair was not the half elf. “You.” She growled, blood gurgling in her throat from the deep wounds in her back. 

Stumbling back in shock and pain of his own, Kynan pressed a hand to the searing wound in his gut. Gasping a breath, he fell against the railing of the ship. He’d never been severely hurt before, and it was the shock more than anything that was causing his knees to go weak and his mind to numb. 

 

Literally choking on blood and trying desperately to gasp for air that just wasn’t coming, the fear and panic was overwhelming. Now laying on the ground on his side, Percy was barely aware of the loud roar of battle as his blood pooled around him. 

There was a sudden warmth as the familiar magic of a healing spell suddenly enveloped him. Gasping a breath, he turned eyes up to see Scanlan’s panicked expression above him. 

“IF I DIE THEN SO DOES HE!” Ripley’s shrieked, teeth bared as she emptied the rest of her gun into the prone form of Percy. The gunman wasn’t even able to wheeze a thanks to Scanlan as pain bloomed through his chest, followed closely by darkness.  
A look of satisfaction crossed Ripley’s face as the long name engraved in tiny print across the side of Animus flashed and faded in a purple glow. 

Despite the very real threat of Ripley standing above him, Scanlan tried once more to bring their gunman back, a sick horror gripping his insides when his magic did nothing. 

Glancing up once more his eyes widened further when the massive black form of a very familiar demon began apperating not five feet in front of him. Not willing to move, he began to desperately conjure a spell when the heavy weight of Grog dropped to the deck. In the few moments it took Orthax to form, the Goliath was already ploughing head first into him, axe raised. 

Across the ship, Vax was cutting a swath through the sailors. He looked hurt, but he was still on his feet which was a plus. Keyleth was standing towards the foreword bow, trying her best to down the enemies around her without accidently ruining the ship which they’d discussed at length before their assault. 

Vex, who had been circling above on her broom and unleashing a volley of arrows was now frozen, eyes wide and face horrified. Gripping fenthis so hard her knuckles were turning white, Vex’s thoughts had come to a sudden halt. Percy…  
The shriek of agony that left her then was so unsettling that it actually brought the eyes of a few of Ripley’s crew to her.  
Tears she hadn’t even realized were falling streaked down her face as her mind clarified into one clear precise decision. Knocking an arrow, she lined up her shot carefully, focusing in on one thing and one thing only.  
Releasing it, the arrow struck true, embedding itself deep within Ripley’s chest. The woman didn’t even have time to really double over, because as soon as she opened her mouth to cry out in pain, the next arrow impacted.  
\----

Dropping to her knee’s at Percy’s side, Vex was barely able to stifle a sob as she reached forward. Her shaking hands stopped just hovering over the damaged skin as if she were afraid to touch him. Because the moment she touched him…this was all real. Scanlan, who was still kneeling there as well, met her gaze for a moment before shaking his head. “Vex…he’s…” 

“No…” Vex choked out, finally laying a gentle hand on her gunman’s scarred and bloody chest before attempting her measly healing spell. His skin was still warm….but as Scanlan had warned….nothing.  
Leaning over Percy’s form, Vex let the tears loose, not caring anymore to stifle them. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled his limp form into her lap, her sobs now shaking both of them as they shuddered painfully through her.

“Percy!” Keyleth’s voice cut through the air as the druid hurried to their side.

Vex was acutely aware of the redhead as she dropped to her knees beside them, lifting her face to set wide tearful eyes on her friend. “Keyleth-“ She choked out, unsure of what she even wanted from the woman. 

Keyleth’s reaction wasn’t much better than Vex’s as she quickly regressed into a sobbing mess. She meekly reached out, gripping his arm as if simply touching him would comfort her. “-His hands..” the druid choked. “They’re- …still chained…” 

The dark form of Vax who she hadn’t even realized was there suddenly knelt beside her. Eyes haunted and expression solemn, he reached forward, picking the shackles open in silence. Standing once Percy’s hands were free, he launched the manacles with an angry shout into the ocean.  
Huffing a breath, he turned, frowning slightly at the slumped form against the deck of the ship. 

Swallowing, he approached the rogue who’d kickstarted Ripley’s demise. Shock spiked through him as he finally got a look at the man’s features past the hood. “Kynan?” He whispered, in disbelief. 

Eyes fluttering open, the rogue squinted up at the other. “Thank gods you finally made it.” The voice was strained, but lucid. 

“You sent the raven…” Vax whispered, taking in the other’s appearance. After everything….this is where Kynan ended up. He could only assume that he had been in Ripley’s employ. 

The young man only nodded, grimacing. 

“Here..” Vax spoke quietly, reaching forward. As soon as he made contact with the young mans shoulder, the worse of the wound began to close from the healing magic. 

“Thanks..” Kynan spoke quietly, pushing himself up slightly. Looking past Vax’s shoulder for the first time, his face suddenly fell. “Is Percy…” 

Vax only looked down, biting his lip as sorrow rose in his throat. He gave a slight nod. 

The young man shuddered a breath at that. “Damn it..” He breathed, wiping his face. After everything….after everything that woman had done to Percy and he didn’t even survive the rescue effort. “I’m sorry…” 

“We’ll talk later…” Vax only patted the rogue on the shoulder before standing once more to join his sister and the others. 

Still cradling Percy’s body, Vex suddenly felt like she was empty. Her sob’s quieting finally, all that was left was agony in her chest. She had no idea something that wasn’t a physical wound could hurt so much. It was like when Percy’s life slipped away he took her heart with it. “Keyleth…” She spoke, voice wavering. “What do we do-?”

The druid who was gripping Percy’s hand and staring down at him with a tear streaked face closed her eyes. Shaking her head she spoke, barely able to even get the words out past her tears. “We….we need pike-…right?” She sniffed, “We need to get back-…” 

Nodding, Vex shut her eyes and hugged the gunman closer. She didn’t want to see the damage inflicted across his skin. She didn’t want to see what Ripley had done to him because he’d given himself for her. She didn’t want to see the four bullet wounds still oozing blood that had stolen him away. 

At the sound of movement, the ranger opened her eyes, watching as Scanlan rose to his feet, expression solemn. Stepping over to the fallen form of Ripley, he quickly pulled the cloak from her shoulders before stooping down to collect her gun. Pocketing both, he turned back to Grog and Vax who were both staring at their feet. 

“We should…” Scanlan cleared his throat before continuing. “We should probably search the ship…” 

“Yea…” Grog glanced at him. “I’ll do that.” He then turned away, disappearing into the depths of the ship. 

Vax only nodded, chancing one more look at his sister before following the goliath.

“I’m not leaving him…” Vex whispered, not being able to meet Scanlan’s gaze. 

“It’s ok. We’ve got his. You stay with him, we’ll be right back.” The bard forced a smile before turning and following the two others. 

Finally forcing herself to pull back, Vex felt the tears come again as she searched his face. Without his glasses and the pensive look he usually wore that creased his eyes and forehead, he looked even younger. It was hard to remember his age since he never acted it…but the paler than usual face was so young; too young to be lying so still with such a calm expression. 

Swallowing the sickness that edged into the back of her throat, Vex worked the noose from around his neck and slipped it off, trying not to think about the rope burnt and bruised skin that was left on his throat.  
“Pike-“ She had to stop, clearing the lingering tears with a cough. “Pike will be able to do something right?” Her last few words dropped to a whisper. 

Keyleth looked up at her with large glassy eyes. “I don’t kn-“ The druid trailed off, not being able to continue as her face crumpled. “He’s my best friend..” Her voice cracked at the end. “I don’t know what I’ll do i-“ She trailed off, again not being able to continue. Unable to meet Vex’s eyes she looked down, focusing on the cooling hand in hers. His wrist was bruised, bleeding where the manacles had cut in, but she tried to ignore it. She tried to ignore the dried and drying blood still clinging to him. Underneath the blood and the grime his skin was calloused and rough from the countless hours in his workshop. 

The thought of the empty workshop suddenly had the druid doubled over in another fit of sobbing. For a moment she felt so alone…so empty. The ache in her heart now was worse than when she thought of her mother….than when she’d lost the fire Ashari. 

After a little while, the rest of the little party finally emerged from the ship. Looking up and seeing what her brother held in his hands sent another batch of tears down Vex’s face. Percy’s coat. It looked wrong in Vax’s hands. “This is wrong.” She whispered, shaking her head. “This is all wrong…” 

Rushing over at his sisters distress, Vax dropped to his knees beside her, pulling her close. “Shhh…you’re ok.” He kissed the side of her head. “We’ll get him to Pike, it’ll be ok.” 

Vex nodded, reaching up to scrub the tears from her eyes. “Grog…” She paused, glancing down at the gunman. “Can you carry him?” 

“Yeah..” Grog spoke with a surprising softness to his voice. “You shouldn’t mourn him yet, we can bring him back.” There was a surety in his words that was actually comforting. He then stooped, scooping the still form of Percy into his arms. 

Swallowing, Vex allowed her brother to pull her up to her feet, looking down questioning when something soft was pressed into her hands. Accepting the blue jacket, she hugged it to her chest like it was a life line; Vex forced the sorrow back down and nodded to her brother. “Thank you… I’ll be ok.” 

“Yeh, I know.” Vax sent a little smile her way, squeezing her arm before letting go. The rogue then turned to Keyleth, accepting her into his arms as she pressed her face into his shoulder. 

“I don’t suppose….I could come with you…?” A quiet voice spoke behind them.

“Kynan?” Scanlan was the first one to answer, frowning as he finally placed the young man in his mind. “You stabbed Ripley.” 

“Yeah, I did do that…” The young rogue pressed a hand to his gut where the bullet wound still ached, seeping blood through his fingers. 

“You were the one who called us here?” Vex questioned quietly, brow furrowed. 

“I didn’t know….I didn’t know what she was. I just wanted to help him.” Unwilling to meet their eyes, Kynan kept his gaze on the ground. 

“You did well, Kynan.” Scanlan sidled up to the young man, patting him on the arm. “You’re welcome to join us.” 

Sending a glance at Percy, who looked so small in Grog’s arms, Kynan nodded. “Thank you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, I am really bad at writing and choreographing fight scenes, hence me skipping over most of it. ^^ But I mean...this isn't supposed to be an action fic, it's supposed to be an angst fic.


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to figure out where to go next and how to get there, Vox Machina struggles with the pain of losing one of their own....some more than others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a hard one. I'm so sorry.

As Vox Machina once again boarded, the air around the party and the expressions on their faces was enough to tell Captain Damon that the thin form clutched in Grogs arms was lifeless. He remembered the young man from their first journey. He had been too young for the color of his hair…he was certainly too young to be dead.

Pulling his cap from his head he held it to his chest as he approached the group, face solemn. “I’m so sorry.” He shook his head. “What can I do?”

Stepping forward, it was Scanlan who replied. “Where is the nearest land mass with trees?” 

Furrowing his brow in thought, it took a moment for the man to answer. “Anywhere from six to eight hours away.”

Nodding, Scanlan spoke, “It is imperative that we reach that place as soon as possible.” There was a rare intensity to the gnome that was so out of place on him.

Nodding, Damon turned, shouting orders to his crew before looking back to the group. “I’ll get you there as soon as I can.”

\----  
Carrying Percy’s body below deck, they ended up laying him atop the table in what would normally be used as a war room. 

“We just need to get him to Pike...we’ll get him to Pike…” Keyleth was repeating, mostly to comfort herself.

“Scanlan…” Vax made a point not to look down at the unmoving form of the gunman. “Did you…happen to pick up Ripley’s gun?” 

“Yes…As well as Cabal’s Ruin.” 

“I don’t see how that matters right now.” Keyleth spoke, eyes still threatening tears.

“Well…” Vax swallowed, his tone as diplomatic and calm as he could muster. “That was….Orthax…am I right? Fighting with Ripley?”   
“Yea, I’d say so.” Grog piped up, arms crossed. 

The rogue chewed his lip for a moment. “Does that gun have names on it?”

Withdrawing it, Scanlan’s face grew even more solemn. “Shit…” He spoke. “It does. A few barrels are blank.” 

Realization and horror passed over Keyleth’s face then as she listened to them speak. “What….What if he has Percy?” She squeaked. Vax only nodded slightly, face solemn. That was his worry as well. 

Vex, who had been silent ever since they’d spoken to Captain Damon, snapped her head over to meet the druid’s eyes. Horror filled her as tears threatened to fall once more. “-no..” was all she managed in fear that should would start crying again at the thought of it. 

Keyleth was only able to shrug, biting her lip. 

“Well, let’s try and get him back first before we get upset about it. We don’t really know anything do we?” Still solemn, but otherwise seemingly unphased, it was Grog that spoke. 

“We need to get back to Whitestone before we even try.” Vax turned his eyes to Keyleth. 

Running her hands down her face, the druid shook her head. “I need to rest…I need sleep before I can…I’m completely burnt…”

“I don’t remember, do we have a way to contact Pike?” Grog spoke again, his demeanour and voice ever calming and reasonable. 

“We have the stone…” Vex answered, not able to muster any enthusiasm. 

“Wait…then one of us could go back to her…What about your necklace Vex?”

“I could try…putting Percy in the necklace….” She trailed off, brows furrowed as she worried the stone necklace in her hand. 

“Yes.” Both Scanlan and Vax spoke at once. Vex wasn’t sure if the hope in their voices was comforting or painful. 

“But…but….wait…what if you can’t get him back out. They have to be alive and willing right? Or…?” Keyleth’s string of words was full of worry that crushed the hope in the rest of the group’s expressions. 

“I don’t know…” Vex shook her head, sitting heavily down in one of the chairs next to the table and burying her face in the blue jacket still gripped in her hands. 

“We don’t want him to get stuck…” Keyleth finished off the thought. 

Vex only nodded, a little whimper of response escaping her. Recognizing his sister’s distress, Vax was immediately by her side. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he rubbed small comforting circles across her back.

“I just…can’t believe there’s nothing we can do…” Keyleth finally spoke again and for the first time looked down at the still form of her friend. 

For the duration of the conversation, most of them had been making a point not to turn their glances towards their fallen gunman. For Keyleth and Vex, the sight of him and the loss they felt almost physically hurt. For Vax, it was the fact that this could very well have been his sister; and not only that, but now the man he scorned for months was lying dead because he had decided it would be him instead. 

“I was right there, you know…” Scanlan spoke softly breaking the silence, his voice so quiet and grave that he seemed almost like a different person. “I was holding him when…” 

“You did everything you could, Scanlan. Ripley…she…” Vax shook his head, brows furrowed in worry at the drastic change in their usual gnome bard. “She was gunning for him.” 

“I know…I know…” Scanlan sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway…We should get some rest gang. We can’t do anything for him in the state we’re in.” 

It was true; most of them were banged up in some shape or form. Keyleth and Grog were probably the most injured visibly, but were ignoring the toll of the battle. Vax was mostly succeeding in concealing a deep and bleeding gash on his side and Scanlan was banged and bruised and wearing a rather large slash from Orthax across one arm.   
The only one rather unaffected was Vex, who spent the majority of the battle circling above on her broom. 

Looking around the room, Scanlan smiled slightly but the sentiment seemed lost on most present. And with that he left, followed shortly by Grog. 

Vax squeezed his sisters shoulders once more before letting his hands slip to his sides. “Make sure you get some rest as well, stubby…” His tone was low and comforting; understanding. “You can’t help him if you’re exhausted…” Turning to leave then, he caught Keyleth’s eye, nodding slightly before slipping off down the hall. 

Only when it was just her and the druid did Vex finally lift her face from where it was buried in Percy’s jacket. It still smelled like him, not tainted with the scent of death of blood, but rather like gunpowder, smoke, and the faint scent that was just…Percy.   
Pushing herself to her feet, she almost didn’t think about it as she slipped the jacket on. It was much too big for her, the sleeves almost completely covering her hands and the coattails brushing the ground, but she didn’t care. As of now, it was the closest she could be to him. 

Looking down at him, pain once again lanced through her. “This should be me…” She spoke so softly that Keyleth barely caught the words. 

“Vex…” Keyleth looked up, brows furrowed and her tone almost scolding. 

“It should have-“ Her voice broke at the end as tears slipped once more down her face. “I shouldn’t have let him…I should have made him listen…”

“No one makes Percy do anything…” Keyleth spoke, blinking back tears that were building once more almost entirely from Vex’s reaction. “I...I don’t think even Ripley could...” 

Vex let out a little snort, half a laugh, half a sob. “Look at what she did to him Keyleth.” Vex sucked in a breath, stifling a sob as her hands reached out to grip the gunman's arm just above where the shackles had cut in. He was cold to touch now, all the warmth and life gone, leaving only damaged pale skin and drying blood. 

Silence spanned once more as the druid finally, for the first time actually took in the extent of her friends wounds. She could feel the anger and the pain build and the absolute helplessness that came with that. She couldn’t do anything now to help him, and she couldn’t change what had happened.   
She also couldn’t help the small thought that Ripley deserved to suffer more than she did. That woman had tortured Percy for days and they had allowed her to die in but a moment. 

“You know…” Keyleth finally spoke. “I think….he wouldn’t have had it any other way?”

“What?” Vex muttered, confusion on her face as he looked up at the druid. 

“We both know Percy….” She trailed off, wiping an arm across her face. “He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if it had been you. Imagine him standing here over your body…thinking that he’d gotten you killed a second time. I can’t imagine what he’d do….he’s already so….” Keyleth was fairly naive when it came to others, but even she could see the self-loathing that Percy carried. He would have been absolutely devastated if Vex had been the one Ripley took. It really was no surprise to her that he’d given himself instead, despite outwardly admitting his fear of the woman. 

The druid’s words caused a fresh spike of pain through the half elf as she looked down at his calm face. “He’s just so damned stupid and hypocritical and…and….” Trailing off, the angry words dissipated into a sobbing mess. Reaching out she pounded a weak fist into his chest but ended up opening her hand and laying her palm over his heart. 

They sat in silence for a while, Vex leaning over Percy while crying and Keyleth staring blankly down at him. Eventually the druid broke the silence. 

“Vex, sit back… I want to try…I want to try and clean him up.” 

“What-?” The half elf hadn’t really heard what Keyleth had said. She had been trying to hold it together while her brother and everyone else had been around. Normally she would have waited for Keyleth to leave as well...but she just couldn’t anymore… 

“I don’t….I don’t want anyone in Whitestone to see him like this…” 

Finally understanding, Vex nodded. Rubbing her arm across her face, she realized that the sleeve of Percy’s jacket was soaked through with tears and snot. She wondered what he’d say…she’d have to apologize. He loved this jacket…

Biting her lip, the druid waved her hands slightly, invoking the minor magic’s at her disposal. Focusing as best she could, it quickly grew difficult to continue when she began realizing just ‘how’ hurt he was. There were more wounds than she’d thought under the caked blood as she cleaned it away. Mostly shallow lacerations, they stretched across his chest and arms in angry red lines.   
Once most of the blood was gone, to both Keyleth’s, and Vex’s horror, old scars were visible. 

Everyone in Vox Machina had seen the others naked to some extent or another. Either changing, dressing wounds, or the time that seemed so very long ago in the hot spring. But neither could say they’d really gotten a close up look at the gunman. He was very private when it came to personal matters. Most of the group figured it was his upbringing and that he saw himself above such things.  
But perhaps it was something else. An ugly reminder of the hardships he’d suffered when he was younger…. 

Now, with a clear side by side look at the new wounds and the old scars, it was like some sort of mirror. 

Stopping the flow of her magic in a moment of horror and pain, Keyleth hovered a hand over one of the most prevalent scars on his skin, long healed. Next to it was one in similar length and depth, mimicking the old wound perfectly in some sort of sick design. 

“I think I’m going to be sick…” Vex felt absolutely ill. She didn’t know…she…  
Percy had of course mentioned he’d spent time in Ripley’s clutches before when Whitestone fell and he’d been imprisoned by the Briarwoods. She remembered him mentioning torture briefly and in passing but…He’d been so vague. She had no idea that….

Torture had always made her uncomfortable. The thought of what kind of person could do something like that to another…what kind of evil… Not to mention her own experience as a younger girl which now seemed so small next to the gunman’s.   
Shoulders beginning to shake, the ranger found she could barely breathe. He knew. Percy knew exactly what he was stepping into when he sold himself for her. He had been willing to suffer through everything he knew Ripley capable of for her sake. 

It suddenly felt like her heart was being torn out all over again. Chest and throat tightening, Vex slipped to her knees. Wrapping her arms around herself, she dug her fingers into the fabric of the jacket as a loud keen escaped her. It hurt so much, it hurt so much knowing that he had suffered so greatly and now he was dead. He was dead and she could never thank him, she could never tell him how she felt, she could never just pull him close to her and not let go. 

Sudden arms around her drew her out of her thoughts. Taking a few deep shuddering breaths, it took a moment to realize that the long auburn hair that was brushing her face and blanketing her shoulder belonged to Keyleth.   
“Hey…hey…are you ok? Vex?” 

Letting go or the death grip she had on her own shoulders, Vex wrapped her arms around the druid, hugging her so tightly that it grew painful. Neither one of them complained, instead just glad they were clinging to another person. 

“-sorry..” Vex sniffed after a few minutes, drawing in a deep breath and then another. Focusing on breathing, she calmed herself before finally pulling away.   
“I’m…I’m ok now….” Still feeling quite sick, she helped pull the druid to her feet. “You should get some sleep, Keyleth. You need to sleep more than anyone…” 

“I…” She druid glanced over at the gunman’s still form before nodding. There was nothing more she could do... ”Yeah.…” She gripped Vex’s shoulder for a second before lowering her gaze and leaving the room. 

Now alone, the ranger once again stepped up to the table. She felt profoundly exhausted now, all of her energy and pain expended during the last hour, particularly the last twenty minutes. Now she just felt empty, the agony in her chest dulled to a slow ache. It felt as if she were in a daze, her eyes barely able to focus. 

Pike was their only hope…they just needed to get him to Pike. He could still come back…they had brought her back…and Grog…   
She could still tell him…

Reaching forward she brushed her fingers through his hair, sweeping it to the side. There was still blood caked in it, the pristine white it normally was tarnished with the color of rust and grime. It wasn’t something that Keyleth had focused on. 

Letting out a tiny breath, she hovered for a moment longer. All she wanted to do was pass out, she was so exhausted. Standing here beside Percy felt lonely…but the thought of leaving his side, even to retreat to her own small quarters on the air ship made her feel absolutely alone. Rationally, she knew it didn’t matter. The body lying on the table wasn’t her gunman. Wherever he was, be it somewhere after life, or in the clutches of Orthax, he wasn’t here in the room with her anymore. 

Despite that, the ranger pulled the jacket closer around her and sunk down against one of the ships wooden walls. Shutting her eyes, it was hard to banish the image of the crisscrossing map of scars carved into the body of the man she loved. 

But somehow, she still managed to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always had a very easy time writing pain and torture, I don't know why. But it's chapters like this one that get to me. I feel...so emotionally drained after writing this. It feels like the end of episode 68 all over again.   
> Once again, continuing the theme of being exhausted at 4am writing.


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally returning to Whitestone, the party attempts a resurrection. Emotions ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp I tried

Vex felt absolutely drained as they stepped off of the docked airship and onto the island. Despite the few hours she’d spent curled up on the floor, when Vax shook her awake it was like she hadn’t slept at all. All she’d accomplished was sore limbs and an aching back.  
The emptiness was still there from the hours previous with Keyleth. Even when the group gathered and Grog scooped Percy into his arms, the urge to cry was there but nothing would come. All she could do was stare with dull eyes. The gunman looked so small, his marred skin seeming so white next to Grog’s ashen chest. 

No one said a word about the blue jacket she wore. 

“Vex.” She blinked, realizing that Vax was waving a hand in front of her face. “I told you to get some rest. How long were you on the floor there?” 

She shrugged. “I did…” She shook her head, voice cracking. “Sleep didn’t help.”

Vax’s face scrunched up in sadness and understanding. “We’re almost there, ok?” Weaving an arm around her shoulders, he tugged her close as they followed Keyleth. 

Leading them to the closest living tree that could accommodate the width of Grog’s shoulders, the druid made short work of casting the spell. And as the group spilled through, which included Kynan bringing up the rear; they quickly found themselves in the streets of Whitestone. 

“You’ve returned! It’s a-” One of the passing guards approached them, the kind smile on his face fading as quickly as his words when he met their eyes. 

“Get….get Cassandra.” Vex was actually the first one to speak, her voice low and wavering. “Send her to Pike’s temple-“ Her voice broke at the end as she cast her eyes away from the man. 

Worry passing over the guards’ face, it quickly changed to horror when he realized exactly what the cause of the dour mood was. The body of Percival De Rolo was currently being held limply in the arms of the largest member of the cities saviours. The lord of Whitestone was dead. 

“Yes, right away.” He took off at a full sprint down the street in the direction of the castle looming above the city.

“You think that’s where she is? Hopefully..?” Scanlan questioned, even as Vex was raising a hand to her earing. 

“Pike! Pike, can you hear me?” Only now was some of that biting worry and sorrow beginning to again fill the emptiness within her. 

A moment passed before the soft and light voice of their cleric answered. “Vex? What…” There was another pause. “What are you guys doing back?” The genuine worry was clear in her voice. 

“Where are you, darling?” The waver grew worse. 

“Vex, I’m...I’m in the temple. Where are you? Is something wrong?”

The daze that she’d been in finally breaking, Vex couldn’t help the tears as they again began to fall. “We’re coming to you…just..” She trailed off, unable to say any more. 

“Pike, we’re coming to you. Prepare…prepare for a resurrection.” Vax picked up where his sister left off. He could hear the tiny breath in his ear as Pike’s voice hitched and then silence for a moment. 

“Who is it?” The voice that spoke then was so small and afraid he barely caught it….As if his heart was breaking enough as it was. 

“Percival.” He answered softly, turning his eyes down. He was both glad and not that he wasn’t there to see Pike’s reaction. 

Again there was silence before her small voice spoke again. “Ok..” Was her only reply, but even with the one word, he could hear the sorrow in her voice.  
\----  
Making their way through the streets towards the temple felt like a funeral procession. Like usual, many of the townsfolk stopped to greet them, or even just smile and wave but were quickly met with the sight of tragedy.

The solemn and dark air around the party was enough to cause most to keep their distance. But even so, many got a glimpse of the white haired form being carried through their streets. Percival De Rolo was a symbol of hope in the city; before when his crest was being written in the sky, and presently a pillar of strength against the dragons. Today he was neither. Today he was a reminder that even the strength of Vox Machina had its limits; their saviours weren’t immortal. 

Most of the party made a point to keep their eyes downcast, not wanting to witness the happiness turn to despair or sorrow on the faces of those they passed. Vax in particular regretted not throwing a blanket or something over Percy, if just to spare these people who’d already lost so much another blow.  
The only one who couldn’t keep him eyes on the ground was Kynan who was glancing around the new city both nervously and curiously. 

Reaching the temple finally, they were met by Pike hovering anxiously in the doorway. Dressed down in nothing but a silver night shift, her hair was flung around by the wind, stands of it sticking to her tear dampened checks. 

“No..” She shook her head in denial, face scrounged in pain when she caught view of the man in Grog’s arms. “What happened?” 

Approaching her, Scanlan gripped her arm gently. “We’ll fill you in on the details later, ok?” 

Eyes wide and glassy, she tore them away from Percy to set them on Scanlan. Searching his face for a moment, she then nodded. “Yes, come inside.” 

Filing into the surprisingly small room, Grog hung back as a young woman who they didn’t recognize and Vax helped scoot a large table into the middle of the room. 

Turning to Grog then, Pike motioned for him to come forward. Doing so, the goliath stepped over, depositing the gunman gently on the stained wood. 

Finally getting a look at him, Pike froze, both hands jumping up to cover her mouth in horror. The tears that she had been trying to control freely fell as all she could do was stare. He hadn’t just ‘been killed’, the wounds he bore told her that much. “What…” She squeaked, throat tightening. “What is this?”

“Pike-“ Vex’s voice cracked as she turned pleading eyes towards her. “Can you help him?” 

Still in shock, Pike set wide and horror filled eyes on the ranger. She was wearing Percy’s jacket. “I’ll...I’ll try…” She breathed finally, snapping out of her shock. Brushing the tears from her face, Pike turned, beginning to quickly gather the few things around the room that she would need. 

“We’re here with you Pike.” Grog halted her almost frantic movements with a gentle grip on her shoulder, not letting go until she met his eye. When she finally did, the sincerity and friendship there soothed her slightly as she nodded.

“Whatever we can do to help, we just knew we couldn’t do it without you.” Keyleth added on, watching Pike’s movement grow just slightly calmer. 

Just as she began chalking in some of the runes that were needed for the ritual, the front door of the temple flew open. Startled, all of them turned wide eyes to the distraught form of Cassandra. “What is-“  
The young woman’s words died in her throat at sight of her brother unmoving on the table. “No…no no nononono..” she rushed forward, actually shouldering past Keyleth to get to Percy’s side. 

Looking down on him, her eyes darted over his form frantically, taking in the wounds scrawled across his chest and cut into his wrists…the bruises at his throat...the blood in his hair…  
Hands shaking almost violently, she reached down and gently threaded her fingers into his hand. His skin was so cold on hers that she almost withdrew. 

A loud whimper escaped her as the tears began streaking down her cheeks. Finally, her eyes jumped up to frantically move from one face to another in the room. With the expression she wore, she looked so much younger now than she ever had. Like Percy, she acted older than she actually was, but in this moment she looked every inch a terrified teenage girl.  
“What happened?” She demanded, voice coming out much stronger and much angrier than most expected. 

“Cassandra-“ Scanlan started, his voice gentle but was cut off. 

“No.” her breath was coming in choked gasps. “What did you all get him into!? Who did this to him!?”

“Ripley.” Keyleth spat out, anger in her own voice. “Ripley did this.”

Vex couldn’t bring herself to look the girl in the eye. It was her fault that Ripley had taken him in the first place. It was something she wasn’t sure she’d ever forgive herself for. 

At that, Cassandra blanched, all the anger on her face melting into horror as she looked back down. That evil conniving bitch that she’d saved him from once somehow got her hands on him again…the thought of it made her feel sick. Slowly, she slipped down to her knees, all the while gripping her brother’s cold hand as the sobs started wracking her form. Could they never escape the Briarwoods and their people? 

Having stopped what she was doing when the young woman entered, Pike once again picked up where she left off with her runes. 

“We’re going to do everything we can for him, ok?” Vax dropped to one knee beside Cassandra. Taking a risk, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “We’ve done resurrections before, but we need you to step away so Pike can work, ok?” 

There was a pause and for a moment Vax wasn’t even sure if his words had reached her past her grief, but eventually she slowly stood. Wiping her face, she nodded, expression as lifeless and dull as Vex’s had been after he’d woken her that morning. 

“Pike?” 

Looking up, the gnome nodded, beginning her incantation. Closing her eyes, she gently placed her hands on Percy’s arm as her consciousness reached out to find his, where ever that might be. 

Silence stretched on for minutes as she searched, relieved when she finally felt his presence. That relief was followed swiftly by panic when she couldn’t reach him. 

“Guys, I can’t-“ She spoke, her voice panicked and eyes still shut as she concentrated on keeping her magic flowing. “I can’t reach him, there’s something…something blocking me, I…” 

“Orthax.” Vex immediately spoke, bringing both hands up to her face. “Vax-“ She turned to her brother, eyes wide. A fresh wave of pain gripped her when she realized that Keyleth had been right. As if Ripley hadn’t been enough, now his soul was literally in the clutches of a demon. 

“Do we know it’s Orthax?” Grog for the first time was beginning to look nervous about the situation. 

“How do I get him!? Guys?” Pike’s voice was pained as she spoke, her eyes still shut. 

“Didn’t Orthax slither back into that gun?” Vax scanned the group. “Can we just chuck it into some acid?” 

“Yeah but that didn’t work the first time, or else he wouldn’t be back.” Scanlan frowned. 

“Wait, didn’t you guys detach Craven Edge from me? Maybe the same thing will work?” Grog turned to Pike, but couldn’t catch her gaze since her eyes were tightly shut. 

There was silence for a minute. “That might actually work…” Keyleth spoke. “Pike, how did you do that?” 

“Greater restoration I think?” She squeaked, her voice unsure. “I can’t cast it now without breaking my resurrection spell…” 

“Pike, I can cast it. Scanlan hand me the gun.” For the first time in the entire situation Keyleth didn’t feel like she was utterly useless. 

Handing it over, Scanlan looked sceptical. “To the gun? Is that going to work?” 

“It’s what Pike did for Grog.” The druid shrugged, accepting the weapon and immediately dropping to sit cross legged on the ground. Placing it on the floor in front of her, she shut her eyes, focusing in. As her magic took hold, her vision honed in and she could almost see the shadowy mass before her.  
Focusing in even further, she could clearly make out the connection between the demon and the weapon in the form of an almost tangible thread.  
Turning her attention to Orthax a terrible realization gripped her that that’s where Percy was. She couldn’t see him…and it wasn’t that she could even feel him…She just knew. 

Reaching out, she grasped the shadowy thread, first in one hand and then in both. And funnelling all of her love for Percy combined will every ounce of will she could muster she began to tear at it. 

As she did, a dark yet horribly familiar voice filled her mind. “No….no…I finally have him…I-“  
And then it was cut off as she used the surge of anger she felt to snap the thread. The black mass dissipated with a wheeze, and for a moment, where Orthax had once resided before her there was a small glimmering light so small in comparison to the demon once occupying the space.  
It wavered for a moment, seeming so fragile before drifting off and out of sight. 

“Percy!” Keyleth screamed, not knowing what else to do as she opened her eyes to look up at her friend. “Pike! Pike! Go now!” 

Not needing any prompting, Pike was already reaching out in search of the gunman. Sure enough, it only took her moments to latch onto the somewhat tattered but still whole soul. “I’ve got him...” She breathed in relieve, her heart still aching. She’d done more resurrections than she ever wanted to, but she’d never seen a soul so frayed and ragged as this. “Now is the time to help…” Her voice wavered with the words but Vex was already stepping over. 

Feeling now that this may be the last and only chance she had to speak to him, the ranger placed a hand over his heart. “Percy…Percy, I don’t know if you can hear me….but…” She stopped to sniff; wiping her eyes with her other arm. “That day in Syngorn was one of the best moments in my life…and not because of what you think; it’s not because of my father, or the title...” Barely even thinking on the words now, she just let all of the emotions out as she continued, tears streaming down her face. “It was because of Whitestone, it was because of you. You allowed me to be a part of the thing you hold dearest, and I was so proud.” She shut her eyes, trying not to break down entirely. “But I don’t want to be here if you’re not. Whitestone still needs you, darling. I still need you.” 

With that she bent forward, resting her hands on his chest and kissing him gently on the lips. Pulling back slightly, she rested her forehead against his for a moment as her tears fell to splash against his cheek and roll down his face. “I should have told you. It’s yours.” 

No one said a word as she pulled back, not even Vax who had a pained expression on his face and his eyes firmly cast down. 

Sensing Vex step back, Pike reached out to Serenrae with her mind. Not verbally speaking, she sent out a prayer regardless, imploring the angel with every ounce of emotion and love she had. 

As silence fell over the room, Keyleth gently caught Vex’s arm. “Is that bird skull I gave him anywhere in his jacket?” Keyleth whispered. 

Blinking a few times, the ranger rifled around the inner jacket in search of what the druid was asking for. Hand coming up with a letter, she glanced at it briefly before sticking it in her own pocket it get it out of the way. Sure enough, she found the skull and handed it over. It was something that normally hung around his neck, but she figured that at some point during his ordeal he’d stuck it in there to keep it safe. It was the conclusion she came to at least, when her hands also came up with the necklace Pike had given him. 

Stepping forward with the birdskull in hand, she leaned over the table before speaking. “Percy, we’ve had many conversations about life and death, and…in many ways, you are my total opposite. But you are also my best friend…and…” She stopped, stifling a sob as she placed the skull against his chest. Keeping a hand cupped over it, she continued “.…and….even though I told you…on that day that I gave you this, that we’re all going to die and you can still be saved from yourself, it was true that the journey was far from over and it still is.”

Shutting her eyes, she employed her magic to conjure a small flock of crows which squawked into existence before fluttering out the door in a flurry of feathers. 

“As much as you might think…that your journey is now over….just because yours seems to be. Ours isn’t. We still need you. I need you.”  
She looked up as Vax also stepped up to the table. Wondering for a moment what he was going to do, his wings suddenly spread out across the room before folding forward to envelope the three of them. 

Standing at the head of the table and listening to her friends speak; Pike could feel the ritual begin to conclude as Sarenrae’s divine energy began siphoning into her. 

Vax and Keyleth pulled back when the sudden bright golden glow of Pike’s body filled the room. And where there was once only Vax’s jet black wings spread across the room, there was now a second pair of golden ones. 

All eyes now turned to Pike, they watched in worry and awe as Percy’s body was lifted off the table. As the golden divine energy began filling him, every wound on his body began to glow softly as if something inside of him was radiating light. And then slowly, they began to seal. Where once there was a map of ugly raw wounds, there were now only scars. 

As Pike began the final verses of her incantation, the bright energy began radiating up through his chest. It only lasted a moment before it slammed down through him, the force of it actually blasting into the table with enough strength to crack it. Still, the body hung in the air until the last few verses of the ritual were complete before gently setting back down again. 

In a burst of golden feathers, Pike’s divine form dissipated along with the bright glow of her light. 

Darkness once again filled the room and no one dared speak. Cassandra had turned to the closest person to her, digging her hands into their cloak as she gawked in fear and hope at what had transpired. Kynan, who now had a girl he didn’t know clinging to him, was also watching in wide eyed silence. 

Not daring to breath, Vex leaned forward slightly. Please…please…

The seconds ticked by painfully slow and there was nothing….

Stillness…

And then there was a soft gasp from Percy as he drew in a breath. 

Covering her face with both hands, Vex let out a giddy laugh, falling into Vax’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. 

Grog and Scanlan also let out a tiny laugh of relief as Keyleth slipped to her knees, crying again but this time with joy and thankfulness. 

Cassandra untangled her hands from Kynan’s cloak and rushed to her brother’s side. Cupping his face with both hands, the despair in her chest dissipated at the obvious sight of his chest rising and falling. “Percy..?” She spoke, voice hoarse. When he didn’t respond, she looked up again with wide eyes at Pike. 

Witnessing the girl’s distress and realizing that the gunman was still only unconscious, Vax reached forward to lay a hand on Percy’s shoulder. Calling forth his own divine energy, he remedied the situation.

With the final little boost from Vax, Percy’s eyes fluttered open accompanied by a long ragged breath and a fit of coughing. 

Mind still barely lucid, when the strong arms wrapped around him both pain and panic filled his chest. His entire body was impossibly sore, every muscle and joint aching. The table under him was hard and he was absolutely freezing. It felt all too much like the time he’d spent in the dungeon under Whitestone. 

Letting out an undignified keen of pain, the arms around him suddenly loosened followed by a shaky yet familiar voice. “My gods, I’m so sorry Percy.” 

Blinking a few times despite his blurred vision and the darkness, he could barely make out anything or anyone in the room. But that voice… “Cass-?“ He tried to but his voice was a hoarse whisper. 

“Shhhh, it’s Ok.” There were tears in her voice as the arms around him slipped away and soft hands found his face. “It’s ok now.” 

Squinting up at her, he managed to raise a hand weakly to her cheek. Her features were blurred and shadowed from the lowly lit room, but he could tell she was crying. “What..?” Mind still not operating at full capacity, he couldn’t manage to figure out exactly what had happened or where he was. 

“Shhh, brother, you’re home. You’re safe.” He could feel her tears drop onto his face and chest. 

It was then that all of the memories came rushing back to him; the noose around his neck…the deck of the ship….Ripley pointing a gun at Scanlan and then the sheer moment of panic when he was choking on blood. Sucking in another breath, he raised a hand to his throat. There was no noose, no slash from Ripley’s blade. In fact, the biting agony of most of his injuries was gone.  
Swallowing dryly, he finally tried to push himself up but when he found he didn’t have the strength, instead opted to turn his head to look around the room. 

“Welcome back.” It was Vex’s voice that spoke first. She was just a dark blur to his eyes at the moment, but her mere presence made his heart jump in his chest. “How are you feeling, darling?” Her voice was soft with the remnants of tears as he watched her step up beside him. 

“Uhh..” He swallowed, squinting up at her before bringing both hands up to rub at his eyes. “Not well…But better than I remember I should be…” he trailed off, letting his hands limply fall to his chest once more. 

“Shit, you can’t see can you?” Vex quickly turned to her brother. “Did anyone find his glasses?” 

“Yea, I got em.” Grog shuffled over and in the daintiest movement that he’d ever achieved placed the frames back o Percy’s face. 

“God’s thank you.” He blinked a few times as he adjusted them, turning his gaze once more over the faces in the room. The dark shapes now clearly his friends, Cassandra and surprisingly Kynan who hovered in the corner with a look of relief on his face. Glancing up again, the sight of Vex filled his vision. Strong, beautiful Vex….wearing his jacket. He couldn’t help the tiny thought in the back of his head that he liked the look of it on her. But more than that; he liked the fact that she was wearing it. 

Reaching over, he found the sleeve of it, brushing his finger across her hand in doing so. “It looks good on you. But could I reappropriate it for the time being? I’m absolutely freezing.”

Vex’s heart skipped a little when his hand brushed hers. Her chest felt like it was about to burst with relief and joy. Nodding at his request, she had to once again bite back tears, this time of happiness. “Yes, of course.” Pulling it from her shoulders, she not only suddenly felt the chill in the room but also a small sense of loss. 

Allowing Cassandra to assist him in sitting up with a groan, he heard a tiny whine from Pike behind him. Before he was able to accept the jacket, he felt a small but warm hand on his back. The touch was gentle but caused him to start slightly at the vivid memory of Ripley’s hand also unexpectantly finding his skin. 

“I’m sorry…” The cleric spoke, her voice small. 

“Whatever for?” He twisted slightly to get a look at her as she quickly pulled her hand away. 

Shaking her head, she only smiled up at him. “…nothing…it’s fine.” The words were forced, but he was too exhausted to pry into what she meant. 

Vax however, understood immediately as he glanced from Pike and then down at his feet. Despite Percy’s wounds having healed over, the gunman’s back was still a mess of ugly scars. The ones on his chest were bad it was true, but for some reason seeing his back was worse. These were the lines of a whip that had fallen too many times. 

“Percival, you should know…she’s dead.” Vax spoke, looking up as the gunman pulled the blue jacket over his shoulders. 

Stopping, Percy let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. Without the confirmation, there had still been that gripping anxiety in his heart that she was still a threat. But now, it was like a weight had lifted from him. Vox Machina had once again come through for him in a way he knew he absolutely didn’t deserve. 

“You mean Ripley?” It was Cassandra that answered for him. At Vax’s nod, she also sighed in relief. “Good.” Her voice was hard and angry. 

“Thank you.” He finally spoke. “It’s….” He stopped trying to figure out how to tactfully word how he felt. “It’s more than a relief to hear.” Pulling the jacket closely around him, the warmth in it barely even touched how cold he was. But the familiarity was comforting, not to mention the lingering scent of Pine and leather that was Vex. He wondered exactly how long he’d been gone for….how long had she been wearing it? 

“How long…?” He questioned, tugging his jacket closer around him. 

“About a day.” Keyleth answered, her eyes were still red from crying. 

“That’s all?” He blinked a few times. It had seemed…longer, somehow. 

“Do you remember anything?” The druid spoke again, her eyes flicked over to Vex briefly before finding Percy once more. 

He paused for a moment before answering. “Nothing worth repeating.” The memories from when he’d been dead were strange. It was so very real, yet now seemed like a dream. The sheer pain and the terror was something he’d never encountered before while alive. And even now, there was no denying the way his very soul ached from where Orthax had begun tearing into him.  
These people…this brave strong group of people that placed much too much faith and trust in him didn’t need to know. He couldn’t burden them…particularly Keyleth and Vex. They had already been through so much, if he could do anything for them at this point, it would be to save them some pain. 

“Percy…” Vex was staring at him, arms crossed. He was already doing that thing he did where he shut everyone else out. 

“It wasn’t pleasant…” He shook his head. “Just….thank you. I’m glad that that’s not waiting for me anymore.” He paused for a moment before turning to catch Keyleth’s eye. “And thank you, in particular. I saw what you did.” 

“What..what?” She stammered, unsure. She assumed that if he remembered anything it would be Vex’s confession. 

“You broke Orthax’s connection. It was the only thing that I saw. Thank you for that.” 

“Orthax?” Cassandra whispered, “Isn’t that…isn’t that the demon from under Whitestone?” Despite being injured and not entirely ok at the time, she still remembered the terrifying visage of the creature. The black smoke that seeped from her brother until it took physical form. 

He cringed slightly, “Yes…” He turned a sheepish look to her for a moment, swallowing. “After I….” he paused before correcting himself. “We…cast him away, he found allegiance with Ripley.” 

Cassandra let out a tiny breath, taking his face with both hands. His skin was still cool to touch, but not the icy cold of death that it had been before. “Please... Percy, please stop getting yourself into trouble.” She actually pleaded with him. “I can’t do this alone. I can’t lose you again-“ Her words wavered at the end.  
Brow furrowing with pain, the gunman pulled her into his chest. He’d never been very close to Cassandra…or any of his siblings really. Neither had he ever been one of the touchy feely sorts. But all of their lives, his sister had always been so strong. Even after everything she’d been through, she’d been so strong. Seeing her so fragile now caused a pang of guilt within him. He forgot sometimes that she was still younger than he was when the Briarwoods had attacked. Just a girl really.  
As she hugged him, he grimaced, doing his best not to make a sound as even just her arms around him caused his aching body to scream at him in pain and protest. 

As she pulled back, he let out another sheepish laugh as he pushed his glasses up into his hair to once again run his eyes. “Just…a few more dragons. Then I can take a break.” 

The young woman licked her lips, composing herself as best as she could as she regarded him. Reaching forward once more, she brushed some dust from the arm of his jacket before smoothing down the fur on his collar. “You...just be careful, brother.” She frowned before finally turning her eyes up to the rest of Vox Machina.  
Catching Pike’s eye first, she nodded at the cleric. “Thank you.” Her words were nearly whispered as she then swept her gaze across the rest of the party. “We will….discuss what transpired in length. But for now, I should probably help calm down the city.” Her lips were a thin line, expression serious. “News traveled rather fast that you died.”  
With that, she leaned forward, kissed Percy on the forehead, and then left the temple. 

Keyleth was moving almost immediately, taking Cassandra’s place at the gunman’s side. “Are you feeling a bit better now?” She inquired softly, wanting to hug him but refraining. She caught the way he grimaced every time someone touched him.

Percy leaned forward, once again running both hands over his face as he let out a long breath. “Not in the least, no.” 

“Does it…still hurt?” It was Grog that spoke next, causing Percy to once again slip his glasses back down onto his nose. 

“I just need…to lie down somewhere…soft.” He finally replied after a minute of thought and a deep sigh. Answering that question honestly would be difficult. Not to mention, they didn’t need to know. 

“Then let’s get out of here. I think it’s time for us to drink, and you to sleep.” There was a grin on Vax’s face as he spoke that caused Percy to snort a tired laugh.

“Yes." He snorted a slight laugh. "That sounds lovely.” 

Although she said nothing, Percy could feel Vex’s eyes on him. He was in for a conversation at some point and only hoped that he’d at least be able to sleep first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got a little out of hand. I fear that I used "TOO" much cannon dialogue? But I dunno. I have a really hard time writing scenes with like...more than 3 characters. I tried whoops.
> 
> Also, I BARELY reread this, so I apologize for errors. I'm to tired right now and just want to get it up

**Author's Note:**

> Most of this was written while I was either very very tired at 5am before I even slept, or while I was drunk. So I know there are some continuity errors and things but "shrug"  
> I don't have a beta and don't plan to use one.


End file.
